Holy Week

So this week, in contrast to any other Holy Week in my life that I can recall, is about staying home and preparing for Pascha (instead of being about going to church and preparing for Pascha). I have a 6-month-old who will not sleep anywhere but in her crib (for more than 30 minutes, sometimes only 15), which means if I take her to the pre-sanctified liturgies every morning this week, by the end of the week, she may have forgotten entirely what it is to take a morning nap. The evening services, called Bridegroom Matins, are each at 8 p.m., so that's after my kids go to bed. Husband and I are taking turns going to those (I attend the ones he's not required to sing at). I'm even further confined to home by the fact that he has to squeeze in 18 hours of hospital visitation in three days this week, so he has the car.

I told the girls that Holy Week is for getting our hearts, home, and baskets ready for Pascha. For our hearts: we're not doing school this week, they're not watching videos (our girls usually watch one 30-minute video per day), and they're not eating "sweets" (both to heighten their appreciation of them on Pascha and to simplify my life a bit, so I don't have to make desserts). So far this is all going okay. Of course, H. was excited to be off of school. Not watching videos has been harder on me than on them, because that's how I get a break from the demands of parenting each day. I did give in and let them listen to storytime online tonight. They've stopped asking for sweets more quickly than I anticipated, but I must have asked K. seventeen times to quit asking me to lick the beaters as we made Cheese Pascha today, so perhaps the sugar addiction isn't completely broken! It's interesting to see them fighting more with each other during this time with fewer distractions and more prayers. It must be similar to what God has to put up with as He watches us during Lent.

For our home: we planned to scrub the bathroom on Monday, their room on Tuesday, the living/dining room on Wednesday, and the kitchen sometime Thursday and/or Friday. They both pitched in and helped a lot on the bathroom. H. didn't want to stop even when it was time for snack! We have white bathroom floors here, and I'm not the best about keeping them spotless, but it sure does look nice for now.

For our baskets: the plan was to make Cheese Pascha on Monday (see picture above of it draining in the fridge), cinnamon tortilla chips on Tuesday, fill the girls' baskets:

and make our "bitters" (horseradish and beet mixture):

for the big basket on Wednesday, dye eggs on Thursday, and make braided bread on Friday. Then we'll assemble the big basket on Saturday, with red eggs, lamb-shaped butter (I'd like a cross mold, but didn't have time to order one this year), sausage and ham, salt and bitters, Shiner Bock beer (instead of wine!), braided bread, and a candle. As you can see, ahead of time I decorated the handle of our basket with red ribbon and artificial flowers.

Another strange thing about this year for me is that I've decided that the children and I will probably miss most of the Paschal Nocturnes/Liturgy service. Part of that is because of the baby, who is guaranteed to stay awake for the whole thing and be cranky; part of it is the extreme lack of space in our chapel, so that I would have to hold at least the baby the entire time, and my back just can't take it; and part of it is how the crowding affects the older two, who have no place to rest. Last year was, honestly, miserable, and I found myself shocked that the excitement and joy of Pascha did not override the uncomfortable circumstances. Pascha definitely did not arrive in my heart until vespers the next day. I say all of this, almost unable to believe that I'm saying it, because Pascha is not just my favorite feast or church service, it's not just my favorite day of the year, it's my favorite. Period. It's my favorite anything. I've judged people in my heart for not attending the midnight service because of their kids before. God forgive me. I just couldn't see how anything would be important enough to make a person miss Pascha. But missing nocturnes, etc. does not mean that I'm not celebrating Pascha. I'll celebrate it throughout the Paschal season; and when our circumstances change (kids get older, attending a parish with more space so they can rest, etc.), I'll return with joy to my favorite service of the year!

So, dear readers (if I have any), I pray you have a blessed Holy Week and joyous Pascha!

Petri Dish of Seminary

To tell the whole truth about life at seminary and not mention the germ-sharing aspect of things would be impossible. Last year, our relative isolation, particularly from other children (since we shared an outside door with only one single priest and the bookstore employees and there was no organized educational playgroup as there is now) protected my kids from a lot of the illnesses that went around. This year, with the move to our more spacious digs, we're in the Lakeside buildings, the campus hot-spot for, well, snot. Ever since we returned from our Christmas vacation, at least one family member has been sick, and it has usually been H. or K.

I don't generally take my kids to the doctor unless they have a fever that lasts more than three days or really strange symptoms I don't know what to do about. Yesterday, though, I broke that general rule and took K. in because she's just been sick so many stinkin' times this semester. The nurse suspected strep and took two swabs (one for the rapid test, one for the culture, if necessary). She was right. So I'm glad I took her, because even though strep clears up on its own in 3-5 days, without antibiotics, the infected person is contagious for 2-3 weeks (instead of 24 hours after antibiotics). It's starting to get warmer, so hopefully this is our last round with serious illness for this year. I'm praying for all of our health, because, of course, she was contagious for a couple of days before she had any symptoms. So far, H. and L.L. seem fine, thank God.

What's keeping us busy these days (other than doctor visits) is organizing the Post-Presanctified Liturgy Potlucks (hosted by a different seminary family each week and held in the church fellowship hall), hosting a Lenten recipe swap for the women's group next week, and all the usual things like keeping a teething baby happy and fed and figuring out when in the world to shop for groceries. :)

I think I'd better be off to bed now. Said teether has already cried twice tonight since we put her to bed, so who knows what the night may bring.

Calm and Controversy

Being in seminary makes it feel a bit more like whatever goes on in the national church more directly affects us than it did when we were thousands of physical miles away in Texas and many steps removed, organizationally, from Syosset.

The way most of us found out about Metropolitan Jonah's leave of absence was rather odd, as it came in a sort of end-of-panikhida homily that didn't actually say what in the world had happened, only that something had happened (assuming, perhaps, that we all already knew), and that rumors were flying around the Internet, etc. We were encouraged to stay out of the buzz and keep our minds on the coming Memorial Saturday, our Lenten preparations, etc. Unfortunately, I think the fact that most of those in the church at the time hadn't a clue what had happened, much less what was being spread around about it, only served to heighten our wonder and confusion.

Of course, we all went home and looked at the usual sources (OCA.org, OCANews, and now OCA Truth), but although we now knew what had happened, it didn't clear things up much. We talked to friends or family who were present for certain events. We talked to each other. But I wonder how many of us did the one thing needful?

We pray each day that God will confirm and strengthen [His church], enlarge and multiply it, keep it in peace, and preserve it unconquerable by the gates of hell forever. What I think we need to do now is to keep that prayer on the tip of our tongues and not let all the buzz distract us. Pray for our primate. Pray for our synod. As Met. Jonah is known for saying: do not react, do not resent, keep inner stillness.

A blessed Lenten journey to all of you. Forgive me, my brothers and sisters. God forgives and I forgive.

Weather Phenomenon and Other Stuff

Yesterday I had the very strange (to me) experience of a day where the temperature reached 50 degrees, and it was appropriate to go outside in just a light jacket, yet there was nowhere for my children to play that wasn't covered in snow. I've never lived anywhere (that I can remember) with such persistent snow, able to resist days and days of temperatures above freezing. Apparently the snow's presence didn't take other parents by surprise as it did me, because they just sent their kids out in snow boots and waterproof pants to enjoy the sunshine. My girls did eventually dig in and start playing, but they returned home rather soggy as a result!

In other news, my husband has received permission from the faculty council here at St. Vladimir's to petition the Metropolitan for ordination to the deaconate. Among other considerations, this has thrust us once again into the world of liturgical vestment buying, with the purchase of a riassa (or outer-cassock) likely to be necessary soon. His ordination to the deaconate (and, God-willing, the priesthood) is something we've been looking toward since we came to seminary, but it is nonetheless an occasion to soberly recall that, even though our lives are not our own now, this truth will be more evident in the coming days. The step towards the deaconate is a step away from being able to do what we want when we want to - whether that be go on vacation or go out to dinner when there are nightly services scheduled. It is a blessing when situations in our lives help us remember reality - and even more of a blessing when we accept this reality and it leads us to repentance and peace - but it is neither easy nor a given that we will accept it.

Today is my maternal grandfather Robert's 87th birthday. Pray for him, if you would. Blessings to all of you as we begin to prepare for our Lenten journey.

An Outing to the Aquarium

One of the positive things I mentioned about living here is the proximity to NYC. We don't get into the city much at all, but we do have zoo/aquarium passes that my parents have gotten us for Christmas this year and last year. The aquarium is in Brooklyn, and you can see Coney Island from the parking lot. For those with any knowledge of the geography of NYC, that means it's really, really far from where we live. It took us 50 minutes to drive there this morning, and much longer to drive home a) at 4 p.m. with more traffic and b) with our GPS for some reason directing us into all these neighborhoods and side streets, even though we'd arrived on only highways and major roads. Manhattan often does make our GPS wonky (where we appear to be spinning in circles on the map even though we're actually sitting still at an intersection, or when it recalculates 17 times while we're slowly driving down a street), but we weren't in Manhattan and it wasn't acting wonky; it just wanted us to take the slowest possible route, apparently!

So here are some photos of us at the New York Aquarium.

At the cafe, after peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from home. See the mess?

This is H's reflection in the tank of some really tiny jellyfish.

LL was not very impressed, but she was cute!

The sharks were H's favorite part. Did you know that sharks and rays are related?

Climbing on this walrus statue was K's favorite part.

We figured today would be the last day for awhile when we could undertake such an outing. I'm certainly not going to take all three of them by myself, and DB puts his nose back to the grindstone tomorrow, starting with three choir rehearsals, a choir trip, and then classes beginning again on Monday.

He will be working on a Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) unit this semester, requiring him to be at a local hospital roughly 25 hours a week this semester, in addition to his other classes. I anticipate this semester's schedule to be quite a stressor, especially when you consider that Great Lent will be in the middle of it, bringing with it so much time required in church. Other stressors are a young infant, homeschooling H, and (of course) never quite knowing where the money to pay each months' expenses is going to come from. I know that God never gives us more than we can handle (with His help), but I have a feeling that this semester is going to push the edge of that and feel very unpleasant. Unfortunately, I'm usually right about the things I dread. Pray for me, a sinner.

Lessons to Complete Before Contemplating Parenthood

I found this on my October 2010 birth forum on babycenter and I laughed so hard, I thought I'd share it with you!

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

New Year's Resolution Re: Blogging

This blog is supposed to be about what it's like for our family at seminary, but I've been reflecting lately that I've so far mostly blogged about our family life, but not so much specifically about what it's like to be here at St. Vladimir's. While I regret that I missed some fresh impressions of SVS and living in Westchester county when we first moved here, my New Year's resolution is to try to include the kind of experiences here that someone might find valuable, or at least amusing, if she were to find herself in my position as a seminary wife.

To start off this new year, I'd like to begin with two items that present the pros and cons of some of our experiences so far. The first is a list of the five best things about living in Westchester county, and the second, the five worst things:

5. Trader Joe's. 'Nuff said.
4. Autumn is beautiful (remember, I came from Texas, where fall lasts about one weekend).
3. Bronx River Parkway walking trails.
2. Bagel shops and amazing bakeries around every corner.
1. Proximity to New York City (you can walk to the train station from campus).

Now for the worst:

5. Winter lasts too long for this southern girl. I want to get out my spring clothes in April and be done with it.
4. This is not an easy place for a newcomer to adjust to. You can probably find anything you might need nearby, but without knowing the right local natives to ask, you are not likely to ever find the right store.
3. The grocery stores tend to either have cramped aisles and unattractive fixtures or be very expensive. It's almost impossible to buy all of your groceries from one store in one trip.
2. It is really expensive to live here - gas, groceries, household supplies, electricity, and everything else cost more.
1. It cannot be overstated how difficult it is to find your way around here. I never thought I'd be a GPS-user, but Westchester county has converted me.

So there's your first installment in my newly-resolved more-about-seminary blog!