Just The Right Words

Catching Up

2011-12-11T12:39:00.001-08:00

I have really let time get away from me this semester as regards this blog. I'm sorry about that. I felt very inspired for awhile to write a post about the importance of supporting seminarians so that they can devote themselves to their required chapel attendance and to their private prayer lives, but I never finished it or wrote any other posts instead of it.

The semester started off with a bang - really no time to warm up and get used to what the new "normal" routine for this year would feel like because we had some irregular, time-consuming events. First, I compiled all the information and photos for our staff/student directory here for the third year, second, I volunteered to coordinate the children's booth for St. Vlad's annual Education Day (Open House), and third, husband and little one and I took a trip to Miami to find out about a parish that's a possibility for us after graduation. I know how dangerous it is to live in any moment but the present, but I have to tell you that September was so stressful, my mantra became, "It will all be better in October!"

October did eventually come, and with it, the first birthday of our youngest girlie. We celebrated with a rubber-ducky-themed party that was so much fun. She celebrated by learning to walk a few days before her birthday and then by promptly getting her first ear infection. Otherwise, she was healthy and continued to be the biggest of the three sisters at her age.

In November, I finally felt I had a chance to figure out the level of energy it was going to take to homeschool the older two while keeping the toddler happy, cook meals, and keep our house presentable. Can't say I do it all all the time, but I've pared back extra activities (and, admittedly, increased my caffeine consumption) to try to make it all work.

One thing that happened here, which I missed in favor of letting the husband attend it, was a talk by Father Themi, of Australia, who is a missionary to Sierra Leone. We are blessed to have many good speakers here at SVS from time to time, but the campus was truly abuzz after his visit. It had an impact that I haven't experienced from any other event here, and I didn't even get to hear him speak! Just browsing his website (especially clicking on the button that reads "How Rich Are You?") changed my perspective on the world. I also happened to stumble across a movie called, A Walk to Beautiful, about Ethiopian women devastated by obstetric fistula. Perhaps that is part of the reason I never finished my post on reasons to support seminarians. I guess I felt that we all need to take a good, hard look at what we really need as opposed to what our nearsighted perspective makes us think we need.

Also in November, we took a trip to visit little one's godparents in their new parish down south. It was a joy to have spent two Thanksgivings in a row with them (she was baptized on Thanksgiving last year). They seem to be adjusting well to a life of ministry and really enjoying owning a home for the first time ever. It was a very nice, relaxing trip for us, and I sincerely hope to be able to return the hospitality that they showed us in the near future. I often worry about my tendency to center all my life, feelings, and thoughts on my life and my own little family, while I feel that my success in life is so dependent on my getting out of myself and connecting with other people. I've been advised time and again to make and keep the connections with other clergy wives while we're here at seminary because of how invaluable their support will be invaluable once my husband is in ministry. So, hopefully, this visit will be one of many like it in the years to come.

I don't think I've written much about the St. Juliana's Society (clergy wives' group) here on campus, but if I haven't, it's because there is almost too much to say rather than nothing to say about it. This semester we have been blessed to hear from a panel of adult children of Orthodox priests, a hospital chaplain and family systems therapist, an Orthodox nun on the topic of children in the church, and our campus pastor on the topic of prayer. Every one of these has been so formative and enriching. Finally, to wrap up the semester, we learned about making wreaths from live greenery collected on campus (yes, I'm there in the picture, with my head inside my wreath).

I also can't mention preparations for becoming a clergy wife without telling you about the wonderful parish that we are assigned to for pastoral formation as part of the third year MDiv requirements. My husband and I are blessed to be in a parish where the priest and his wife both take the formation of seminary interns very seriously and have years of pastoral experience to share with us. Our children love being in a regular parish again and are really enjoying weekly church school during coffee hour as well. We are so thankful for how the people there have taken us in, even though they know our time there is short (just one school year), and even though we are only the latest in a long line of interns from SVS.

My girls and I have been doing an Orthodox Jesse Tree this year, and I hope to eventually get pictures of that up here, but in case I don't (or don't do it before Christmas), I would like to wish all of you a blessed rest of the Nativity fast and a joyous Feast of Our Lord's Coming in the Flesh :)

11 Months and Counting

2011-09-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

For some reason, the fact that I am about to have a 1-year-old is taking some work to sink in on my part. When H. was this age, she was walking. That's what all her energy went into from about 10.5 months on. By the time she turned 11 months old, she loved walking so much, she wouldn't even crawl when it was the only way to get through a space! When K. was this age, she was communicating. She picked up on baby signs early and fast, and by 11 months she was saying lots of words, too. She was taking steps by her first birthday, but she just didn't seem to have any drive to walk. It was easier to crawl. I figured she'd put all the energy into communicating that H. had into walking.

L. L., however, hasn't done either of those things. She does some baby signs, she says, "Pa-pa"... sometimes, and a few other "words." She has stood up a couple of times unsupported, but doesn't seem interested in walking at all, not even holding on to someone's hands. So I just kept thinking of her as a baby in the 9-month-old sort of stage, and was surprised to realize the other day that we had less than a month until her 1st birthday. Tonight I was spending a little quality time with her (while we stayed home from vespers because she's sick with a highly contagious virus), and I realized what I've missed by being so busy that I don't often pay attention to her for more than a few minutes at a time: her one focus in life right now is to figure out how to climb up everything she can see, and once she does that, she wants to climb back down. This child is a climber!

I realized that she loved to climb stairs, and that her love for doing so made it difficult to be anywhere near the ambo at church. And I noticed, of course, that her love of climbing has resulted in not a few spills and falls. Boy, do they make her mad! We had to remove the ladder to H.'s bunk bed because L. L. kept climbing up it and falling off backwards. We have to fold up or tuck away any step stools we use because she climbs those, too. I've noticed, more out of the corner of my attention than anything, that she can climb onto our coffee table and back off again. But what I missed was her drive, her determination. She is driven to conquer the next plateau - to climb up it and back down again - until she can do it perfectly. And if things don't go as she thinks they should - something shifts, she loses her balance, something hurts - she will let you know quite loudly that this is unacceptable.

So I sat on the floor tonight and helped my 11-month-old climb onto our living room armchair. When she slipped on her way up once and landed on her rear, I didn't let her sit there and cry. I helped her back up and told her to try again. I told her she could do it. It felt much more like a conversation with a toddler than a baby, which makes me proud of her but also a little sad to see the purely baby-ness go. Then she grinned her gigantic grin at me, and I thought of how, just when I think it couldn't get any cuter, it does with each new tooth. And I was excited to think of all the joys there are to come in her little life. So here's to many more months, L. L.!

Where Do Our Children Stand?

2011-08-28T13:35:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry to disappoint any readers who may just check in here to find out updates about our family by once again straying from that topic to express my opinion about something, but this is something that's been brewing for awhile.

Take one troubling trip to an extremely un-child-friendly parish this summer, put a visit to the Monastery of the Transfiguration (which is beyond child-friendly) on the heels of it, and then mix it up with just reading this article, and you get one opinionated seminary wife!

After the first aforementioned visit, I was in turmoil for days. I knew that being in that setting turned me into Mean Mommy, and that I didn't like that feeling. I was practically sitting on my children to try to make sure no one wiggled, whispered, or did anything else to draw attention to herself. Keep in mind that this reaction on my part was not just due to what I personally experienced at his parish, but what I was told by a young couple we sponsored years ago as they entered the Orthodox church about their experience at this parish. They had been literally followed around by parishioners demanding that they spank their child and being told that the priest had spoken out about the children making noise, even in the parish hall. When we had been there before, we were asked to stay away from the side of the church where the choir was because noises from children were too distracting for the choir. When my toddler escaped my grasp once, I received an angry e-mail from a parishioner about how distracting her behavior and my ensuing attempts to retrieve her were (bearing in mind that I was in the back of the church, and the parishioner was seated up front).

Being the people-pleaser that I've been for most of my life, I swallowed all of this. I internalized it. I expected perfection of my children and bought into the expectation that these people obviously had that I should and would be able to control my children's every move. When I came to seminary, though, I began to believe in a higher purpose for my children's attendance in church than silent submission. I still stressed out a lot about noise and movement, but my focus shifted to trying to use our church time as instructional time and engaging them in the worship.

So a return visit to this parish where I felt my children were so unwelcome threw me into turmoil. Who was right? What were parents supposed to do? I knew in my heart that Jesus obviously loved children when He was made flesh and dwelt among us. His disciples tried to shoo the children away, but Jesus welcomed them.

Then we visited the Monastery of the Transfiguration, an Orthodox convent of nuns. I witnessed how they brought my children up to the kliros with them and let them sing (when they could), and gave them paper to write on. They made sure I had a comfortable place to nurse the baby where I could still hear the service. They paid special attention to the kids outside of the service, as well. I had a chance to talk to one of the nuns for an extended period of time afterwards, and I began to describe to her the things that were troubling me. It was during this talk, as each of the parishioner reactions I mentioned was met by her disbelief and disapproval, that I realized something. How prideful of those people to assume that if every child in the nave were perfectly silent and still that they, the adults, would not be distracted! I don't know about you, but even when my children are not with me or are behaving perfectly, I'm still totally distracted by my own monkey mind.

Let me be clear that I am in no way advocating that children should be allowed to run free in church or make as much noise as they want to. I get as annoyed as anyone when another parent allows his or her child to come over and start talking to one of mine. It is still my number one parenting goal that my children learn silence and stillness, especially in church, because I want them to be able to be receptive to the voice of God. But I want this for them so that holy things inspire in them a sense of wonder, not a sense of dreading the Mommy-monster who will freak out and smack them around if they forget to be quiet.

There are two issues that I believe are central to this topic of how children and their parents should be treated and what expectations we, as a church, should have of them. One is cosmic, the other is cultural. The cosmic one is simply a reminder that, "We wrestle not against flesh and blood..." (Ephesians 6:12). That's not to say that people who turn around and give parents dirty looks when their children make noise are somehow demonic. It just means that those people are falling prey to the temptation that ALL of us face to avoid living in the moment we're in, to avoid attending to our own hearts. I have more of a tendency to give in to this temptation when I read some spiritual book or scripture verse that really strikes me. The first thing I want to do is share it with someone. That sounds innocent enough, right? But what that does is distract me from meditating on those words, internalizing them, and living them. If I can just copy and paste those words right into my Facebook status, the burning they created within me dies down enough that eventually, I forget them.

Archamandrite Meletios Weber, in his book Bread and Water, Wine and Oil says that nothing can distract us except what we choose to be distracted by. He gives the example of the person singing off-key in the choir near us, but whether it's that or someone's child who keeps babbling or the crooked icon in the center analogion, if we decide to accept that that's just the way it is going to be, it can no longer distract us. This may sound strange if you have never thought of it that way before, but we are the ones who choose to be distracted. If you are used to a quiet office job or sitting in your house and hearing nothing louder than the ticking of your clocks, it may take a little more determination on your part to accept the "holy noise" (in the words of Fr. Alexander Schmemman) of little children. Trust me when I say, though, that that child's noise is louder to his or her own parents than it could ever be to anyone else. Out of all of my Orthodox friends who have children, from the one whose children could be mistaken for statues during every liturgy to the ones who spend half their time in the narthex because their children tend to be so energetic, I don't know anyone who is pleased with the behavior of their children in church. There's always another level we are striving for, and we don't need the disapproval of anyone else to make us aware of that.

The other issue that I mentioned, the cultural one, was handled so beautifully in this blog post, "Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)". In it, Rachel Jancovic points out the value (or lack thereof) that our culture places on children and how contrary that is to a biblical understanding. I liked this article so much, not just because I agree with her, but because Rachel found the words to describe a cultural attitude I sometimes find myself slipping into, or at least not defending my beliefs against. It is deeply embedded in our culture that motherhood should be a choice. That no one need have children unless they actively choose to do so. But I think, as Rachel says, that motherhood "is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for." She points out that motherhood is about laying down your life (your desires, your dreams, your ambitions) for someone else (your child(ren)), and our culture is afraid of death. It's a great article, and I hope you'll read it, but for the purpose of this topic, the part about how children rank below going to college or traveling the world or having lots of leisure time is key. Unfortunately, even though this is not a godly way to look at children, I believe it is so pervasive in our culture that it has even infiltrated the way many Christians view children. They are seen as burdens instead of blessings. I recognize that I may have to defend my children when I go to the grocery store ("Boy you have your hands full! You're not going to have any more, are you?"), but I shouldn't have to do it when I go to church. What we need people in the church to do is turn around when a child is making noise and instead of shushing or rolling our eyes at the parent, take a step back and help the parent. Show them, whether they be life-long Orthodox or first-time visitor, that in our church, we value children. We support you as you take up your cross, laying down your hopes, your ability to make more money and have more things, your ability to have a perfectly clean house, and your ability to stand still and participate in an entire Divine Liturgy. We're with you in this and we're going to help you in any way that we can.

H. Reciting Poetry

2011-08-10T11:47:00.001-07:00

One of the aspects of our life here at seminary involves our decision to homeschool H., who is now in 1st grade. Even though we wanted to homeschool before we came here, we figured I would have to work full time to support hubby and the kids would have to go to public school, as available. As it turned out, there was no room for her in the PreK classes in Yonkers when we first arrived, so that set off a chain of events that led to my working opposite hours of D., so that I could homeschool her instead. After that, we looked at the public school options available to us here and were less than thrilled with them, so we continued down our classical homeschooling path.

I said all of that to introduce her first public poetry recital. Here you go!

It's That Time Again...

2011-07-30T19:16:00.001-07:00

Time for our yearly newsletter. I'll post the jpg's here, but, as always, if you'd like a higher-resolution copy and don't receive it by e-mail already but would like to, please send me an e-mail or leave a comment here with your e-mail address, and I'll be sure you get a copy.

What Are You Really Telling Your Kids

2011-06-26T10:05:00.000-07:00

I've never used a blog post to link to someone else's article before, but part of my immersion in this new way of thinking about food is that I'm now watching quite a few "foodie" sorts of blogs by Christians. One of them (Frugal Granola, what a name, right?) had this article that I just had to share because it so captures where I want to be with my kids.

Lydia begins:

How I live my life speaks volumes to my children. The more I stumble along this path of choosing joy and gratitude, the more I see how the opposite can negatively affect the small people in my life. If I choose to live each day as a nuisance and a burden, I am raising them to do the same. I am stealing their joy.

I know that words have power, to build up or tear down. I know that the words I choose to tell myself can make or break my attitude toward life. But what about those words that just float out there for anyone to hear…and what of these children who listen to what I say all day long?

When I am cleaning up around the house and muttering about the mess, a natural byproduct of a house full of kids. When I “vent” on the phone to a friend about how my kids are driving me crazy. When I heap on sarcasm out of irritability and impatience.

While at home, I can feel that I should be able to “let down my guard” and let emotions rule. I forget that someone is always watching and taking notes.

I leave it to you to read the rest of the article.

I want to be clear that I am so far from being able to "choose joy and gratitude" in my dealings with my kids that I can barely taste it. I much more resemble the italicized part up there, the muttering, venting, and sarcastic irritability/impatience. In quiet moments, I know that I am teaching my children much more by my actions than I do by any words I say.

God forgive me and have mercy on my children through me, a sinner!

Summertime at SVS

2011-06-23T19:04:00.001-07:00

No blog about a family's stint at SVS would be complete without a description of summertime here. As much as we may complain (God forgive us) about how busy seminary life keeps us during the school year, I'm beginning to wonder if that busy-ness is the only thing that keeps me sane. I say that because now, with all the 3rd years moved out or about to be, the new students not yet arrived, and many of those in between gone on vacations or internships, this place feels like a ghost-town. For example, we're the only family left on our floor, and the floor below us has one family left (with two kids, both younger than my older two). I'm not used to being able to get out and about much because we just can't during the school year, so I find myself puttering around the apartment somewhat aimlessly. I have a lot of things I'd like to get accomplished here at home, but I find it difficult to do them because of all the constant interruptions from my kids, especially the baby, who is almost never content.

One thing I'm almost always turning over in my head as I putter about is how to stay on budget for groceries. As I believe I mentioned on here, we were so sick for so long this past winter. I decided at the end of that time that I had to get us, especially K., healthier. One thing led to another and the end result is that we've really tried to change the way that we eat. We're still not where I'd like to be, but we're moving there. We're avoiding things that can be detrimental to our health and trying to incorporate things that boost our immune systems and digestive systems. Sometimes I feel like giving up because I can't do everything I'd like. Sometimes I feel like giving up because it's more expensive to eat healthily than to stock up on processed foods. Sometimes I feel like giving up because I want to eat something not so healthy for me or because my kids do. But I keep going because it's hard to go intentionally backwards on something you're convinced will help you be healthier in the long run.

Husband is working the same job he had last year, for which we are so thankful. He has also been able to borrow a vehicle to use for three out of the 5 days a week he works, so the girls and I can have the van if we need it. This is a huge relief to me, as Yonkers is not a very walkable place at all. Last year I found it very difficult to settle us into our new apartment/nest without being able to go places to buy the items we needed (or even groceries). I did get some much-needed exercise walking with the kids to the library, though!

We're going to try to get the older two into swimming lessons (another thing that's turned out to be more complicated here than it was in TX) and also try to do a little "adventuring" on D's one weekday off per week.

So that's summer for our family at SVS.

For Future Seminarians

2011-06-21T11:04:00.001-07:00

Once again, I'm going to use this blog to host some information that I hope will be useful to future seminarians and their families. This is a packet that a few of us have edited this year, and is based on a packet we were given when we arrived here two years ago. It was so helpful at the time; I know at least my family couldn't have done without it. We hope the work that we have done on it will help it to continue in relevance and helpfulness to the new incoming students.

(If at some future time, the file gets deleted from its host, please leave me a comment below so I can fix it.)

SVS Area Attractions

2011-06-17T18:55:00.001-07:00

Sorry it's been so long since I posted. We were on the road for three weeks, visiting family and friends in Kentucky and Texas. It's good to be back!

Today, I'm going to post a list of places for "adventuring," as one friend calls it, in the area around Yonkers. Although our family rarely gets out and so has done almost none of this, it gives you a good idea of what's available around here. I'm hoping this list can help prevent future seminary families from having to re-discover all of these great places.

The List:

Mystic Seaport - Check out Mystic Seaport. Hands down the best thing you can do while here. Would make a great overnight.

Stone Barns Center for Agriculture – A favorite more local place is Stone Barns Center - best cup of coffee and cutest baby piglets and best free range eggs in all of Westchester. Best gift shop, too. On the way there is a church with stained glass windows by Chagall.

Dobb’s Ferry - Dobb's ferry has some good ethnic restaurants and a go greenberry yogurt, and down by the Hudson there is a ship-shaped playground. They have a bike shop and a kids' consignment store. Check it out when you are going to the Hastings-on-Hudson farmer's market.

Farmer’s Markets - When you are going to the Larchmont or Mamaroneck Farmer's market (Mamaroneck has a favorite – Orwasher’s Bread!) don't miss playing at Harbor Island Park. They have playground equipment I've never seen before, a (dirtyish) little beach, and fountains for the kids to play in for a small admission. Boats galore!

Bronxville is right next door. Go to Il Bacio for Gelato, the little movie house for a movie, and there is a Starbucks with a Clover machine. Have the El Salvador. Lovely

Beaches: Jones beach, Fire Island (Robert Moses State Park)-- great day trips: advice, go during the week early in the morning- best way to avoid the crowds....about an hour....if you make it to fire island there is a lovely light house you can visit...bring your kites!

Camp in MA (north of Boston) & then spend some time in cape cod ...about 5 hours away & cape cod has PERFECT beaches for young children....SUPER gentle waves & worth the trip----the long island beaches are great but the waves are dangerous even for adults at times- not that relaxing if you have "runners" for children:)

One of the best investments you can make is children's museum pass @ Stepping Stones in Norwalk- you can use it to get in free to CMOM in Manhattan, Brooklyn Children's Museum, Staten Island Children's, & Long Island's....not to mention pretty much any children's museum anywhere in the states....very convenient!

Cold Spring- favorite favorite favorite village in the Hudson Highlands- an hour north, the drive is along the Hudson w/ beautiful views.... You can get on the train in Dobbs Ferry and take a GORGEOUS ride down the Hudson, then get off at Cold Spring and walk everywhere. Lots of hiking in the area if you are up for a hike (Appalacian trail, to name one), adorable main street, restaurant "the Depot" next to the train station, & a park in the middle of town with a FENCE & TONS of toys residents leave out for community use...(imagine Lakeside or the ND playground..... Kids have a BLAST there & you get to sit & sip coffee & have some time to talk:)... There’s also a great French restaurant, LE BOUCHON, with French Bistro fare. Best steak frites around and 8 kinds of moules! Also, Coldspring is not too far from Wappingers Falls if you want to make the trip on a Sunday & go to church there...(we LOVED the parish there when we visited)

Greenburgh Nature Center. Very close, nice hiking. If you pay to go into the manor house kids get to pet Chinchillas & hedgehogs & snakes with the naturalist....otherwise free

Central Park. Enough said! Spray parks EVERYWHERE in the city- go in for a day, pack your picnic & your suits & have fun! Riverside park is also lovely & a favorite spot for us! (where You've Got Mail was filmed, if you remember it!)

Stamford Nature Center- about 45 minutes from SVS- they have a working farm that the kids love as well as a GREAT "nature" themed playground complete with a giant log you walk through to get inside...

Multiple pick-your-own farms upstate- Fishkill farms is a good experience, but there are lots!

Muscoot Farm- another working farm, also about 45 minutes north

Rainbow Ridge-- yet another farm

Kenisco Dam- 15-20 minutes up the BRP; very nice playground & HUGE paved walking circle that is flat-hard to find around here!!

Wave Hill –A spectacular 28-acre public garden and cultural center overlooking the Hudson River and Palisades in the Bronx, Wave Hill's vibrant landscape is one of the most beautiful spots in New York City. The gardens change with the seasons and their Café is a great place for a cup of tea or coffee with a baked good, soup or salad. Free Entrance all day Tuesdays during off-peak months (November–April, July & August), 9 a.m. to 12:00 noon on Tuesdays during peak months (May, June, September, October), and on Saturdays free 9am to noon year-round.Free Parking is down the hill on the right. They have free shuttle service. 675 West 252nd Street; Bronx, NY 10471-2840 (718) 549-3200

Pack a lunch and go to the New York Hall of Science in Queens. This place is amazing with lots of indoor and outdoor stuff to do for the kids and adults will find it interesting as well: http://www.nysci.org/

Spend a morning in the city--see the NYPD police museum, grab a piece of pizza on a corner (lots of little cheap eateries around this downtown landmark)!

Take the Staten Island Ferry-free and fun for the kids to ride a big boat. http://www.siferry.com/

The Zoos here are amazing. You can get a zoo membership for the whole family, and that gets you admission to the Bronx Zoo (huge and full of the most unusual and usual animals), Prospect Park Zoo, Central Park Zoo, Queens Zoo and the New York Aquarium.

Edited 7/9/11 to omit Scarsdale Library museum pass - apparently only valid for Scarsdale residents; also edited to change name of town from Coldspring to Cold Spring. Coldspring, NY is in the western part of the state and isn't the one referred to here. Oops!

Call Me Matushka :)

2011-05-14T17:31:00.000-07:00

Today my husband was ordained a deacon in the Orthodox church at St. Sergius of Radonezh chapel in Syosset, NY. There were no major catastrophes to getting there, no potty training accidents or injuries among my children, and the baby slept for almost an hour of the service. That makes for a good liturgy in my book!

There was a slight hiccup in my plan to record the ordination via photos and videos, because our memory card was too full, but others took photos, so hopefully we'll get those soon.

In the Russian tradition, deacons' and priests' wives are referred to as "matushka," which means, "mother." Since the entirety of my husband's deaconal ministry is very likely to take place here at seminary, I had decided I wasn't going to take up that title. I'm not anyone's "matushka," in the spiritual sense, until we have a parish to speak of. Besides, here at seminary, you can't throw a rock without hitting some matushka or another, so it seemed silly to put on such a title.

What's funny about this is that Metropolitan Jonah called me up to the front at the end of the liturgy by calling out, "Matushka!" So there I went running. He then went on to tell me that I was now a matushka and, even though my husband was the one to walk around the altar, I had been given a ministry by God as well. He said that the name of matushka signifies what that ministry means. So, I guess I'm a matushka! :)

Trot, Trot to Boston Town and Other News

2011-05-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

We just spent the weekend in Boston (well, Brookline/Jamaica Plains) for the ordination of hubby's "godson" (D. was his sponsor when he was chrismated 5 years ago) to the diaconate. He's a soon-to-be graduate at Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology. It was a joy to be present for this event, as well as to see the beautiful campus and tight-knit community at Holy Cross. Many years and axios to Deacon Michael and his family.

Speaking of ordinations, there had been a hold on them around here with our bishop (Metropolitan +JONAH) on leave, so we were experiencing a bit of "hurry up and wait." We rushed to get all the paperwork submitted, etc. in January and then just had to wait until at least after Pascha to see what would happen. Just today we were told that D.'s ordination to the diaconate will not happen until the fall semester. We still don't know anything about possible placement after graduation, but we're taking one step at a time.

The next things we have going on are graduation and bidding farewell to so many close friends here immediately followed by a long car trip to (eventually) Texas. We haven't been back to our homeland ( :) ) since January of 2010 and we're starting to worry that they might forget about us! We're looking forward to seeing family and many dear friends we've missed terribly. We should be in the Fort Worth area June 1-7, so if you're one of our Texas friends, be sure to call us and come see us.

Christ is Risen! Indeed He is Risen!

Holy Week

2011-04-19T18:39:00.000-07:00

So this week, in contrast to any other Holy Week in my life that I can recall, is about staying home and preparing for Pascha (instead of being about going to church and preparing for Pascha). I have a 6-month-old who will not sleep anywhere but in her crib (for more than 30 minutes, sometimes only 15), which means if I take her to the pre-sanctified liturgies every morning this week, by the end of the week, she may have forgotten entirely what it is to take a morning nap. The evening services, called Bridegroom Matins, are each at 8 p.m., so that's after my kids go to bed. Husband and I are taking turns going to those (I attend the ones he's not required to sing at). I'm even further confined to home by the fact that he has to squeeze in 18 hours of hospital visitation in three days this week, so he has the car.

I told the girls that Holy Week is for getting our hearts, home, and baskets ready for Pascha. For our hearts: we're not doing school this week, they're not watching videos (our girls usually watch one 30-minute video per day), and they're not eating "sweets" (both to heighten their appreciation of them on Pascha and to simplify my life a bit, so I don't have to make desserts). So far this is all going okay. Of course, H. was excited to be off of school. Not watching videos has been harder on me than on them, because that's how I get a break from the demands of parenting each day. I did give in and let them listen to storytime online tonight. They've stopped asking for sweets more quickly than I anticipated, but I must have asked K. seventeen times to quit asking me to lick the beaters as we made Cheese Pascha today, so perhaps the sugar addiction isn't completely broken! It's interesting to see them fighting more with each other during this time with fewer distractions and more prayers. It must be similar to what God has to put up with as He watches us during Lent.

For our home: we planned to scrub the bathroom on Monday, their room on Tuesday, the living/dining room on Wednesday, and the kitchen sometime Thursday and/or Friday. They both pitched in and helped a lot on the bathroom. H. didn't want to stop even when it was time for snack! We have white bathroom floors here, and I'm not the best about keeping them spotless, but it sure does look nice for now.

For our baskets: the plan was to make Cheese Pascha on Monday (see picture above of it draining in the fridge), cinnamon tortilla chips on Tuesday, fill the girls' baskets:

and make our "bitters" (horseradish and beet mixture):

for the big basket on Wednesday, dye eggs on Thursday, and make braided bread on Friday. Then we'll assemble the big basket on Saturday, with red eggs, lamb-shaped butter (I'd like a cross mold, but didn't have time to order one this year), sausage and ham, salt and bitters, Shiner Bock beer (instead of wine!), braided bread, and a candle. As you can see, ahead of time I decorated the handle of our basket with red ribbon and artificial flowers.

Another strange thing about this year for me is that I've decided that the children and I will probably miss most of the Paschal Nocturnes/Liturgy service. Part of that is because of the baby, who is guaranteed to stay awake for the whole thing and be cranky; part of it is the extreme lack of space in our chapel, so that I would have to hold at least the baby the entire time, and my back just can't take it; and part of it is how the crowding affects the older two, who have no place to rest. Last year was, honestly, miserable, and I found myself shocked that the excitement and joy of Pascha did not override the uncomfortable circumstances. Pascha definitely did not arrive in my heart until vespers the next day. I say all of this, almost unable to believe that I'm saying it, because Pascha is not just my favorite feast or church service, it's not just my favorite day of the year, it's my favorite. Period. It's my favorite anything. I've judged people in my heart for not attending the midnight service because of their kids before. God forgive me. I just couldn't see how anything would be important enough to make a person miss Pascha. But missing nocturnes, etc. does not mean that I'm not celebrating Pascha. I'll celebrate it throughout the Paschal season; and when our circumstances change (kids get older, attending a parish with more space so they can rest, etc.), I'll return with joy to my favorite service of the year!

So, dear readers (if I have any), I pray you have a blessed Holy Week and joyous Pascha!

Petri Dish of Seminary

2011-03-16T19:10:00.000-07:00

To tell the whole truth about life at seminary and not mention the germ-sharing aspect of things would be impossible. Last year, our relative isolation, particularly from other children (since we shared an outside door with only one single priest and the bookstore employees and there was no organized educational playgroup as there is now) protected my kids from a lot of the illnesses that went around. This year, with the move to our more spacious digs, we're in the Lakeside buildings, the campus hot-spot for, well, snot. Ever since we returned from our Christmas vacation, at least one family member has been sick, and it has usually been H. or K.

I don't generally take my kids to the doctor unless they have a fever that lasts more than three days or really strange symptoms I don't know what to do about. Yesterday, though, I broke that general rule and took K. in because she's just been sick so many stinkin' times this semester. The nurse suspected strep and took two swabs (one for the rapid test, one for the culture, if necessary). She was right. So I'm glad I took her, because even though strep clears up on its own in 3-5 days, without antibiotics, the infected person is contagious for 2-3 weeks (instead of 24 hours after antibiotics). It's starting to get warmer, so hopefully this is our last round with serious illness for this year. I'm praying for all of our health, because, of course, she was contagious for a couple of days before she had any symptoms. So far, H. and L.L. seem fine, thank God.

What's keeping us busy these days (other than doctor visits) is organizing the Post-Presanctified Liturgy Potlucks (hosted by a different seminary family each week and held in the church fellowship hall), hosting a Lenten recipe swap for the women's group next week, and all the usual things like keeping a teething baby happy and fed and figuring out when in the world to shop for groceries. :)

I think I'd better be off to bed now. Said teether has already cried twice tonight since we put her to bed, so who knows what the night may bring.

Calm and Controversy

2011-03-04T10:16:00.001-08:00

Being in seminary makes it feel a bit more like whatever goes on in the national church more directly affects us than it did when we were thousands of physical miles away in Texas and many steps removed, organizationally, from Syosset.

The way most of us found out about Metropolitan Jonah's leave of absence was rather odd, as it came in a sort of end-of-panikhida homily that didn't actually say what in the world had happened, only that something had happened (assuming, perhaps, that we all already knew), and that rumors were flying around the Internet, etc. We were encouraged to stay out of the buzz and keep our minds on the coming Memorial Saturday, our Lenten preparations, etc. Unfortunately, I think the fact that most of those in the church at the time hadn't a clue what had happened, much less what was being spread around about it, only served to heighten our wonder and confusion.

Of course, we all went home and looked at the usual sources (OCA.org, OCANews, and now OCA Truth), but although we now knew what had happened, it didn't clear things up much. We talked to friends or family who were present for certain events. We talked to each other. But I wonder how many of us did the one thing needful?

We pray each day that God will confirm and strengthen [His church], enlarge and multiply it, keep it in peace, and preserve it unconquerable by the gates of hell forever. What I think we need to do now is to keep that prayer on the tip of our tongues and not let all the buzz distract us. Pray for our primate. Pray for our synod. As Met. Jonah is known for saying: do not react, do not resent, keep inner stillness.

A blessed Lenten journey to all of you. Forgive me, my brothers and sisters. God forgives and I forgive.

Weather Phenomenon and Other Stuff

2011-02-15T06:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had the very strange (to me) experience of a day where the temperature reached 50 degrees, and it was appropriate to go outside in just a light jacket, yet there was nowhere for my children to play that wasn't covered in snow. I've never lived anywhere (that I can remember) with such persistent snow, able to resist days and days of temperatures above freezing. Apparently the snow's presence didn't take other parents by surprise as it did me, because they just sent their kids out in snow boots and waterproof pants to enjoy the sunshine. My girls did eventually dig in and start playing, but they returned home rather soggy as a result!

In other news, my husband has received permission from the faculty council here at St. Vladimir's to petition the Metropolitan for ordination to the deaconate. Among other considerations, this has thrust us once again into the world of liturgical vestment buying, with the purchase of a riassa (or outer-cassock) likely to be necessary soon. His ordination to the deaconate (and, God-willing, the priesthood) is something we've been looking toward since we came to seminary, but it is nonetheless an occasion to soberly recall that, even though our lives are not our own now, this truth will be more evident in the coming days. The step towards the deaconate is a step away from being able to do what we want when we want to - whether that be go on vacation or go out to dinner when there are nightly services scheduled. It is a blessing when situations in our lives help us remember reality - and even more of a blessing when we accept this reality and it leads us to repentance and peace - but it is neither easy nor a given that we will accept it.

Today is my maternal grandfather Robert's 87th birthday. Pray for him, if you would. Blessings to all of you as we begin to prepare for our Lenten journey.

An Outing to the Aquarium

2011-01-13T17:36:00.000-08:00

One of the positive things I mentioned about living here is the proximity to NYC. We don't get into the city much at all, but we do have zoo/aquarium passes that my parents have gotten us for Christmas this year and last year. The aquarium is in Brooklyn, and you can see Coney Island from the parking lot. For those with any knowledge of the geography of NYC, that means it's really, really far from where we live. It took us 50 minutes to drive there this morning, and much longer to drive home a) at 4 p.m. with more traffic and b) with our GPS for some reason directing us into all these neighborhoods and side streets, even though we'd arrived on only highways and major roads. Manhattan often does make our GPS wonky (where we appear to be spinning in circles on the map even though we're actually sitting still at an intersection, or when it recalculates 17 times while we're slowly driving down a street), but we weren't in Manhattan and it wasn't acting wonky; it just wanted us to take the slowest possible route, apparently!

So here are some photos of us at the New York Aquarium.

At the cafe, after peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from home. See the mess?

This is H's reflection in the tank of some really tiny jellyfish.

LL was not very impressed, but she was cute!

The sharks were H's favorite part. Did you know that sharks and rays are related?

Climbing on this walrus statue was K's favorite part.

We figured today would be the last day for awhile when we could undertake such an outing. I'm certainly not going to take all three of them by myself, and DB puts his nose back to the grindstone tomorrow, starting with three choir rehearsals, a choir trip, and then classes beginning again on Monday.

He will be working on a Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) unit this semester, requiring him to be at a local hospital roughly 25 hours a week this semester, in addition to his other classes. I anticipate this semester's schedule to be quite a stressor, especially when you consider that Great Lent will be in the middle of it, bringing with it so much time required in church. Other stressors are a young infant, homeschooling H, and (of course) never quite knowing where the money to pay each months' expenses is going to come from. I know that God never gives us more than we can handle (with His help), but I have a feeling that this semester is going to push the edge of that and feel very unpleasant. Unfortunately, I'm usually right about the things I dread. Pray for me, a sinner.

Lessons to Complete Before Contemplating Parenthood

2011-01-08T06:24:00.000-08:00

I found this on my October 2010 birth forum on babycenter and I laughed so hard, I thought I'd share it with you!

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

New Year's Resolution Re: Blogging

2011-01-02T18:13:00.000-08:00

This blog is supposed to be about what it's like for our family at seminary, but I've been reflecting lately that I've so far mostly blogged about our family life, but not so much specifically about what it's like to be here at St. Vladimir's. While I regret that I missed some fresh impressions of SVS and living in Westchester county when we first moved here, my New Year's resolution is to try to include the kind of experiences here that someone might find valuable, or at least amusing, if she were to find herself in my position as a seminary wife.

To start off this new year, I'd like to begin with two items that present the pros and cons of some of our experiences so far. The first is a list of the five best things about living in Westchester county, and the second, the five worst things:

5. Trader Joe's. 'Nuff said.
4. Autumn is beautiful (remember, I came from Texas, where fall lasts about one weekend).
3. Bronx River Parkway walking trails.
2. Bagel shops and amazing bakeries around every corner.
1. Proximity to New York City (you can walk to the train station from campus).

Now for the worst:

5. Winter lasts too long for this southern girl. I want to get out my spring clothes in April and be done with it.
4. This is not an easy place for a newcomer to adjust to. You can probably find anything you might need nearby, but without knowing the right local natives to ask, you are not likely to ever find the right store.
3. The grocery stores tend to either have cramped aisles and unattractive fixtures or be very expensive. It's almost impossible to buy all of your groceries from one store in one trip.
2. It is really expensive to live here - gas, groceries, household supplies, electricity, and everything else cost more.
1. It cannot be overstated how difficult it is to find your way around here. I never thought I'd be a GPS-user, but Westchester county has converted me.

So there's your first installment in my newly-resolved more-about-seminary blog!

Colic Has a New Name

2010-11-30T12:47:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned before, by 1 month of age, our previously sleepy baby had turned into one who cried almost all of her waking hours. At her 1-month checkup, the pediatrician said she either had just straight reflux or reflux caused by a protein allergy, and that most babies who, in earlier times would have been diagnosed with untreatable "colic," actually have one of these problems. Hers was confirmed by a test of her stool for blood, which was positive. The first course of action was to try prescription Prilosec for seven days. If the Prilosec didn't take care of her tummy pain, the doctor said I would have to go on a total elimination diet to get all potential allergens out of her diet, and will then slowly add foods back in to pinpoint the problem foods.

We tried the Prilosec and it did help, especially for the first couple of days, but even though I had decided to rid my diet of obvious sources of dairy at the same time, since that's the most common irritant for babies, as the week wore on, it became clear that something else in my diet was bothering her as the crying and spitting up increased again. That meant that I had to go on the strict elimination diet to try to get her to a baseline with no allergens and irritants and then try to figure out what would bother her as I added things back in. I have to mention at this point that I don't know if I would ever have tried this diet if our fellow-seminarian family had not just been through this process with their son and found that it worked. In the context of a well-child visit, through which our baby screamed, the doctor's sudden introduction of such an extreme method, without that previous exposure to the idea, would most likely have been dismissed by at least me, and probably by my husband, too. As it was, I was ready to do anything to help her feel better and stop crying all the time.

So I started out the next Monday morning eating only chicken and turkey; apples and pears; potatoes and sweet potatoes; and rice. The doctor said I could season with salt and pepper only and cook in olive oil. That was it. It only took a couple of days before I added sugar and cinnamon, so that I could have a rice-milk based rice pudding for breakfast. Then all I could do was wait. The doctor had said not to add any foods in until after 10 days, but I found out from my friend who had done the diet before that everything she had read said it takes 1-2 weeks for dairy to clear the mother's system and another 1-2 weeks for it to clear the baby's system. 4 weeks! 4 weeks of nothing but those 7 foods? Never eating out or eating prepared-type or processed foods from the grocery store? Eating nothing at potlucks or coffee hours? What had I gotten myself into? And all this with a crying baby who didn't seem to be improving.

After about 9 days I realized she was doing better and decided to add in some fresh fruits and vegetables that weren't likely to irritate her any further. So far so good. Then on the 13th day I had almost convinced myself that any improvement in her disposition was because of her maturation and not really due to my crazy diet. As a result, when the temptation came to eat a little bit of the apple pie I had made for Thanksgiving, but not eaten at Thanksgiving because it had butter in it, I ate a bit. I shouldn't have, but if I hadn't, I would have kept on wondering if all this diet stuff was necessary. That little bit of butter caused us two days of pain for our little one. On one of those days, we had to change our clothes multiple times because of her copious amounts of spit-up, which she hadn't even been prone to before the treatment process started. There's nothing like the terror of putting something untested or unapproved in your mouth because it's going to hurt your child. If it were just going to affect me, I might let little things slide by, but one look into her pitiful little face is enough to make me swear off whatever delightful thing to eat causes her pain. It's not easy. I really miss pizza most of all, but I'm not starving, either. I guess you could say this is my nativity fast.

Hopefully, she'll outgrow her sensitivities before she's a year old, likely by 6 months or so. We have another doctor's appointment next Monday, so we'll have to see how she's coming along weight-wise and if there's any other treatment that we can give her on bad days when I've tried something that doesn't agree with her.

So, for now, my days are filled with mostly holding her and not getting housework done. I spend entire church services in the basement parish hall, where I can't hear the service, nursing and burping her. It makes it hard to decide to even go to services sometimes!

Please continue to pray for us, especially for Laura. We will be traveling over the Nativity Holiday from Dec 18- Jan 4, so we ask you to pray for travelling blessings as well.

As a side note, my girls and I have been trying to color one ornament a day for a Jesse Tree (we still don't have a tree, but maybe next year). I wanted them to have a way to get into the spirit of anticipating Nativity. You can find out about the Jesse Tree here: http://festalcelebrations.wordpress.com/2007/12/27/jesse-tree-project-2008/

Catching Up

2010-11-04T18:48:00.000-07:00

There have been several times in the past few weeks that I've wanted to blog, but so far I haven't had much time. Who knows how long this post will take me to complete - it all depends on if the baby keeps sleeping or not.

I had a really good recovery from my c-section, far and away the best I've ever had, and a fairly relaxed first 3 weeks of the baby's life, emotionally speaking. This was due in great part to the extensive visit of my sister, who stayed from before Laura Louise was born until the end of October. At the point when everyone went home and back to work after I had my other two, I started trying to bring some order to my life, gain some control, and prevent evening crying jags by working on my babies' nap schedules. I made myself crazy trying to get them to nap at the same times every day for as long as the books said they should. I even said after the first one that I wasn't going to do that again, but the second one came along and I did it again. So I've resisted whatever urges I might have to check out the latest "get your baby to sleep" books out there. If I don't have a "should" to follow, then I can't follow it, right? I'm telling myself just to enjoy whatever naps she does take and not expect anything else.

The problem is, now that I am taking care of her almost exclusively by myself (sister has gone home, and husband is in seminary - 'nuff said), it seems like she has three states: sleeping, nursing, or crying. She literally cries 99% of the time that she is awake, unless she's nursing. She has actually made herself hoarse crying so much. It doesn't matter if I'm holding her or not, walking around with her or not, singing to her or not; she just cries. Her daddy and I have discussed the possiblity that it's reflux that's making her cry, but I don't know if that's it or not. Anyway, it's a good thing I'm trying to go with the flow otherwise, because all the crying is draining enough without expending energy trying to control how the day goes. Even still, the crying does wear a person down after awhile. Pray for me.

With the other two, especially the oldest, I've switched from a very structured homeschool schedule to what I like to call "guerilla homeschooling." We fit in a reading lesson while I'm nursing or holding the baby. We do math on the floor while the baby unexpectedly naps. You get the picture.

Another thing that's really helping me is that some of the mothers here have started an educational playgroup co-op twice a week in the mornings. This gives me a break from the two older ones so I can relax a bit, mentally. We'll see how it goes when it's my turn to participate in the teaching/supervision part! The administration here is really hoping to turn this grassroots effort into a full-fledged daycare/preschool, they say by next school year. I think it would be a real boon to the seminary if and when that happens, but I'm thankful for what we have now.

I'm going to be churched early, Lord willing, tomorrow, so that I can venerate the relics of St. Vladimir that are scheduled to come here the following weekend. My husband's dad and stepmother are coming to visit us this weekend for a few days, tand then about a week after they leave, his mother will be visiting us for Thanksgiving. While she is here, Laura Louise is scheduled to be baptized during the liturgy on Thanksgiving day! We are so excited to have that to remember each year on Thanksgiving, and blessed to have a fellow-seminarian and his wife as the intended godparents for our little one. They are pious, thoughtful, hospitable people with whom we feel we have a lot in common, and wish we had even more in common, when it comes to their virtues.

I think I'd better wrap this up and get some sleep while the getting is good. Pray for us.

Blessed is the man who has his quiver full of them...

2010-10-07T11:34:00.000-07:00

We are proud to announce the arrival of our third little Wooten today at 9:00 a.m. at Lawrence Hospital in Bronxville, NY. Laura Louise Wooten weighed 8 lbs., 13 oz., and was 20 inches long. Mommy and baby are both doing fine.

Those in the area can visit them in the hospital, where they will be at least through Saturday. Whether or not you are in the area, we invite you to see pictures of baby and sign the guestbook at her birth announcement website.

Prayers Requested

2010-10-03T10:20:00.000-07:00

We're in the final stretch of this pregnancy, which has felt longer than any other, even though I haven't particularly been in a hurry for it to be over. My c-section is scheduled for Thursday morning, so I humbly request your prayers for me and for the baby. I hate having to have another c-section, but I am so thankful that I can have one, because otherwise I couldn't have a baby at all. I'm also extremely thankful for the impending visits of my mother and sister, who will be able to help me out for awhile, since I already know how hard it will be to recover from the surgery.

I'm looking forward to being able to announce that the little one is here.

New School Year Begins

2010-08-30T20:45:00.000-07:00

This is an exciting time of year at St. Vlad's. The new students have arrived and been helped to move in. We have an incoming class this year that doesn't follow the typical pattern of recent years because it contains more single seminarians than married (exactly twice as many, as far as I can tell). The returning students are all abuzz with changes to curriculum and professors and such. For the first time, I will be taking advantage of the opportunity that spouses have to audit classes free of charge here by taking Kate Behr's Theology and Children's Literature course. It feels like a natural extension of my library science degree and my love of children's literature. I just hope I can keep up with the readings!

We just had a meeting of the women's group on campus, (which is comprised of wives of students, faculty, and residents, and women students) during which we planned out our social gatherings for the semester. That group meets every other Monday, and on the alternating Mondays, the St. Juliana the Merciful Society (formerly known as the Spouse's Program) will be meeting to help prepare us for parish life as clergy wives.

We are enjoying our new apartment immensely. It amazes me how much of a cloud I feel has lifted just from being in a larger space with more natural light. One nice thing is that we have a little nook designated for homeschooling that helps keep us neat and organized. My girls and I started the homeschool year at the end of July so that we can take a good-sized break in October when the baby comes and another one over the Christmas holidays. Now that the seminarians are back in class, almost everyone else who homeschools is back into the swing of things, too.

In addition to making plans for academic pursuits (papers due, readings to complete, etc.), church services, and social events, we've also been planning for visitors. We just had the honor of offering hospitality to our friends from Pennsylvania this weekend, and next weekend will have family visiting from Texas. After that, my mother and sister will be visiting from Kentucky in time for the baby to be born and to help out with the other two kiddos. I feel so blessed that my sister will be able to spend almost a whole month with us as I recover and we find our way back into family life with an additional child to care for. In November, we expect visits from my husband's father and stepmother, and then one from his mother around Thanksgiving. All of this is yet another reason to be thankful for our larger apartment that enables us to invite people to stay with us.

If you're looking for a way to direct your prayers for us (other than Lord, have mercy, which is always appropriate), please pray for God to help us set aside time amongst the busyness and noise to pray and seek silence. You can also continue to pray for God to provide for us financially as He wills. May He bless all of you as you begin a new church year and any other undertakings you may be planning at this time of year.

A Request for Prayers

2010-08-21T20:41:00.000-07:00

Please pray for our friends Anna and Justin, and their unborn son Leo. He was diagnosed with hydrocephaly and the prognosis is not very good. They have difficult decisions and days ahead. May the Lord have mercy on them and the Holy Spirit comfort them and guide their decisionsl

UPDATE from Anna 8/23/10:

"Leo born this morning around 1:00. Our little angel baby breathed on his own, and instills everyone around him with love and peace. Our hearts are calm and our wishes are respected. We are grateful for being given the chance to witness him to Christ. Thank you everyone so much, and we will let you know as things progress."

2nd Update - 8/25/10:

The family have made a little blog to update people on Leo's status, if you're interested: http://leoclement.blogspot.com

2010-08-03T19:31:00.000-07:00

If anyone is interested, here's the family newsletter we just sent out (via e-mail - snail mail ones are still coming for the few that get them).

You can click on these images to enlarge them. If you'd like a better quality document, though, just send me an e-mail (or leave a comment) with your e-mail address in it, and I'll send it to you as an attachment. Thanks for reading!

Of Bounty and Thankfulness

2010-07-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

This doesn't seem to be the right time of year for a post with that name (at least to Americans), but thanksgiving is always relevant and in season, right?

I have a specific reason (along with so many other ongoing ones) to be thankful this morning. Last night, I took a careful look at our finances and bank account and realized that, although we had enough to pay our bills (thank God) we didn't have any money left for groceries this week or next. I wasn't worried. I thought we might have enough in the house to get by, even if it wasn't on the most delicious or nutritious meals (macaroni and cheese, anyone?). Then August would come and we'd be able to buy food again. But just now, our neighbor downstairs, a wife of another seminary family, just knocked on the door and handed me grocery money in cash. She simply said, "That's what friends are for." I give thanks to the Lord for his provision, and to the person who gave, for her generosity. Glory to God.

Of Baby Registries and Being Far Away

2010-07-03T12:06:00.001-07:00

So, I've spent the past 4 weeks away from my husband while he has dutifully worked to earn us some money and also packed up our belongings to move them to our "new" apartment. To give you an idea of the size of the previous apartment, it is now going to be leased to a single student, and it will be just the right size for him, I think. The result of my being here in Kentucky while all the moving action is going on in New York is that I have constantly pestered my husband with e-mails about free Craigslist item postings on things I think we might need for the new place. I am sure he is getting tired of this barrage of ideas, but I feel like I have to do something to contribute from here :)

We have had a really nice, relaxing time in Kentucky with my family, which was exactly what I was hoping for. I've barely had to fix a meal while I've been here, yet have eaten enough to keep my OB/GYN fussing at me about weight gain. The girls haven't been bored for a minute, between trips to the mall's play area to Dinosaur World, in Cave City, KY, to Beech Bend & Splash Lagoon in Bowling Green, KY. We even made it down to western Kentucky to see my grandma and my other grandparents once. I was really hoping we could go back there again for the 4th of July, in fact, it's why I scheduled the vacation to last as long as I did, since all my childhood 4th of July memories are in Sturgis, KY with a picnic at my grandparents' home that always included homemade ice cream and then sitting in the backyard watching fireworks shot off from the Sturgis airport. They haven't had the picnic for years, as the family members who participated aged and/or moved away. The trees between their house and the airport have grown so tall that you can no longer clearly see the fireworks. But I was still hoping for Granddaddy Davis' homemade peach or banana ice cream. It just didn't work out with their schedule to play host to us this weekend, though, so we are making homemade ice cream today and have about three places to go for 4th of July tomorrow. Here's to new memories, right?

I would be remiss if I didn't say that today is my sweet K.'s 3rd birthday. We asked her yesterday what she might like for her birthday supper tonight and she said, "Just ice cream." When pressed to name a "growing food" for supper, she added, "Okay. Corn on the cob and ice cream. And that's that." I had to suggest pizza, and she graciously made that concession to some solid food for the rest of us :) Her pick of activity for the day is to play in the kiddie pool with the Dora & Diego toys she got for her birthday.

On an unrelated note, one of the other things I've done with all my spare time on vacation is to work on our baby registries for little L. L. We have one at Babies R Us for the rest of the main things we need, and another at Heavenly Hold for some baby-wearing items I would really like to have. We got rid of many things for babies when we moved to New York, and, if you follow my blog, you'll know that we haven't been able to retrieve some of the things that we did save from storage in Texas, so we are grateful for both the gifts we've received so far and any others we may be blessed to receive.

Happy 4th of July to everyone!

A Momentous Day - Five Years Ago...

2010-06-20T19:13:00.000-07:00

... I was about to give birth to my oldest daughter. In a way, it seems impossible that she could be five, that I could have a five-year-old, that my husband and I could have somehow navigated through five years of parenthood without imposing serious damage on any of the involved parties. In another way, it seems like that day five years ago is so incredibly long ago. I am certainly not the person I was when I gave birth to her (thank God).

If I had known as much about babies then as I know now (which is not to say that I know all there is to know, by any means) I would have known we were in trouble when my oldest started crying (and wouldn't stop) while we were still in the hospital. She cried almost the entire night after we brought her home, and the next night was not much better. From the previous childcare experience that I had, I knew that my favorite age was from 1 to 2 years old, and, when I was pregnant, I'd looked ahead at the birth of the baby with the fear that I'd have no idea what to do with a baby smaller than that age range. I was totally dismayed to find that my fears had been founded, after all. I remember crying and crying and asking myself and my husband, "Who thought it was a good idea to give me this baby to take care of by myself?" "What if I can't do this?"

I know this sounds like it's starting to be more a post about myself as a parent than my daughter, whose birthday it is, but I'm getting there. :) Fortunately, the answer to my first question was that it was God who had thought it was a good idea to give me this difficult baby. He knew that only she could give the the kind of formation I needed. She was a colicky baby, who turned into a happy, engaging older infant and early walker, who then metamorphosed into a toddler whose intelligence, sensitivity, and propensity towards high emotions often made her hard to predict and even harder to control or even to help her control herself. The older she got, the more it became clear to me that she didn't want to be crying herself into hysterics, but she just didn't know how to stop.

Her little sister, K., was a welcome addition to her world. H. doted on her and wanted to hold her and kiss her, but I found myself constantly feeling torn between my extremely high-needs toddler and my newborn infant. I guess this is the same feeling any parent with more than one child feels, but I don't think I handled it very well. Somehow we all survived that period of time, and now the two of them are the best of friends. I think K. will turn out to have been one of God's greatest blessings to H. as she looks back on her life. Because of having to interact with someone similar in age and interests to her own, H. has to learn skills to help her get along. She's learned how to do things like distract K. with something else (when that was age-appropriate), how to wait until K. got tired of things, and as they get older, she's learning to negotiate for a turn at activities she wants that K. is doing (and vice versa). In her sister, H. has a playmate who doesn't just go along with all of her authoritatively-expressed schemes for play like so many of her friends do (yes, I'm saying she's bossy, very bossy). She has to figure out how to win K. over, and I think that's good for her.

Since my husband and I hope to homeschool our children for as long as we can, another of the aspects of my daughter that I get to be privy to is her academic life. In keeping with my expectations that the child of two academically-minded parents would be that way herself, I started trying to teach H. to read once she turned three. I spent the school year that year introducing her to one letter sound per week through a variety of means. We learned target words that started with that sound, memorized a poem each week that had one of the target words in it, read at least 15 books that had the sound or the target words in them (including nonfiction science and history books), we did outdoor observations, arts and crafts, and even mathematics lessons to reinforce the letter and its sound. We sang song after song, like "Eddie Elephant Eats Everything." You can see the photo album I made for her of our lessons that year on Snapfish. She had most of the puzzle pieces to begin linking sounds and reading simple words, but she just wasn't interested in doing it. That was okay. She was clearly a smart kid, but reading just didn't appeal to her yet.

Even while she was three, there were times that her emotions would get out of control, especially when she was overtired or hungry, and she would scream and scream and be unable to be reasoned with. I remember my husband taking her into a closet and holding her while she screamed her head off when we stayed the night at a friend's house to try to keep her from waking the entire household at 5 a.m. But these times when she "lost it" got less and less frequent. She was an incredibly fast runner (which I never had any inclination towards), always thinking of big ideas and figuring things out that didn't seem like they were on the normal 3-year-old level, and she was fiercely independent, learning to do so many things on her own (which you can imagine was helpful to me in many ways) but also challenging me on almost every point when asked to do or stop doing something. She was wonderful. She was still exhausting, too!

At age four, I began using a "real" curriculum with workbook lessons and handwriting work. This was where I saw her really take off. She loved getting the answers "right." I enjoyed seeing her learn pre-reading skills that were really going to help her. She had little patience for writing her letters, but we were using a curriculum that forced her to slow down. There were lots of read-aloud stories that even K. enjoyed. "School," quickly became our favorite time of day together. I wasn't even working on math with her, but it's already clear that that will be one of her strengths. She comes up with word problems on her own and solves them!

Between four and five, the major change I see in H. is that she is becoming more and more as a separate person from me. This is a painful (for me) process, yet I know that it is necessary. When I see her with her friends, she says things to them that reveal a thought-life that she doesn't share with us at home. It reminds me that she's her own person and that this process of individuation has only just begun. I pray that the Holy Spirit will guide that process and help me teach her what she needs to know to do it wisely.

She is still a rule-nick, quick to point out any violation of rules to anyone who even suggests offending them. She often tries to negotiate her way out of whatever I ask her to do, but if it becomes clear that I'm not budging, then she does it. It's not as much of a struggle as it once was to get her to comply. She has the most beautiful smile and laugh. She is amazingly quick-witted, handling even my dad's jokester ways with a quick retort. She's so excited to learn to read that she's ready to start kindergarten as soon as we get back to New York. Before we left for vacation, she'd ask for her phonics textbook so she could just look at it (it has no pictures in it). She loves to climb on things and jump from high places and still loves to run. She loves going to church school, especially when she already knows the answers! I hope that her birthday tomorrow and the whole experience of being five are just as exciting for her as she seems convinced they will be. God bless my precious H. on her 5th birthday!

Have New Apartment, Need Stuff (Here)

2010-04-22T13:37:00.000-07:00

We found out about a week ago that we should be getting a 3-bedroom apartment sometime this summer. We are really excited about being able to do things like walk from the kitchen into the hallway without having to turn sideways and lift whatever you are carrying up over your head to avoid its colliding with the furniture! And, since the baby will live there until he or she is over a year-and-a-half old, it will be nice to have a place for him/her to sleep that is not our room.

I do have a request, though. If any of you readers out there are moving to St. Vlad's or the New York area this summer/fall and are starting out in or passing through the Oklahoma/Texas region, we would really like to share moving van space with you. We brought most of the stuff that we didn't sell when we moved here last August, but we didn't bring baby furniture and gear. That stayed in storage with family in Fort Worth. We would really like to have that here, but it's such a small number of boxes that it would really be MUCH more efficient if we could share a little bit of someone else's moving truck instead of renting our own and making the trip once again. We have a few boxes of baby gear, a crib, a changing table, and a bookshelf.

Hopefully it would be beneficial for the other family as well. I know we had extra space in our moving truck last year, and we sure could have used the money provided by someone for letting them use up that extra space to help us defray some of the expenses of moving. We would be willing to pay you for the extra length of moving truck/van you might have to rent, the inconvenience of arranging to pick up our load, and our share of the gas money. We're willing to take the stuff from Fort Worth to someplace nearby, like Tulsa, Shreveport, Little Rock, Amarillo, etc. if that's more convenient to where you are or to your travel route.

So I'm hoping to get the word out via my blog, and I've asked my husband to do the same on his Oh Taste and See blog, which is much more widely read. If you fit the bill, please contact one of us. If you know of someone else who does, we'd be ever so grateful if you would let them know about our situation. Thanks!

Annunciation: A Hierarchical Liturgy and Two Ordinations

2010-03-26T10:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a day of marathon church services rarely seen outside of a monastery or holy week. We were blessed here with a visit from Metropolitan Jonah, which was actually delayed, but nonetheless joyous. He was supposed to preside over the Presanctified Liturgy on Wednesday evening and ordain the Subdeacon Photius (Avant) to the Holy Deaconate. Then he was to hold Little Compline that evening and tonsure the Monk Christopher to the little schema, and finally preside over the the Annunciation Liturgy and ordain the Deacon Daniel (Talley) to the Holy Priesthood. His Beatitude's flight here was cancelled due to snow out West, so he did not arrive until the wee hours of Thursday morning. Because of this delay, both ordinations were done at the Thursday Liturgy and the tonsure was moved to Thursday evening. I can only imagine that His Beatitude must have been exhausted after a red-eye flight, a 2-hour Matins service, a 3-hour Liturgy, and another lengthy service for Little Compline. I, myself, did not make it to Matins or Compline. We thought the long Liturgy would be enough church time for t
he little ones.

Although there are ordinations here all the time, and I had attended a couple before coming to seminary, I have a confession to make: I've never before been able to see what was going on when we were all singing "Axios! Axios! Axios!" I guess I have Zaccheus syndrome or something. I remember standing on a chair at then-Bishop Jonah's consecration trying to see parts of the service. The thing about ordinations is that they are generally more well-attended than regular services, and I often find myself at the back of any given service taking care of my kids. This would be fine if I were tall or even of average height, but I'm not. So I sing along and sneak peeks between people when I can, and life goes on.

Somehow, the Liturgy yesterday was an exception, and I was able to see during Dn. Daniel's ordination that the priests would start singing "Axios!" after he was vested with each particular article of clothing. Cool! I know it's one of the most basic thing someone attending an ordination would know or remember, but I never saw it before. It was a glorious service (I love Annunciation anyway), and I'm thankful to have been there.

I'm sorry that I missed the tonsure yesterday evening. The Monk Christopher is now the Monk Kilian. I had to look that saint up last night on OrthodoxWiki! My husband said that, at the end of the service, when everyone went to greet him, they were instructed to do so by asking him, "What is your name, brother?" When he responded, "My name is Kilian," they were to answer, "May the Lord save you in the Angelic Schema." Wow.

Other than that the goings on around here have been: a major wind storm that knocked down hundreds of trees and caused us to be without electricity for 2 1/2 days; a round of nice, sunny weather that had all the kids on campus running around like crazy and all of us thankful to be out of doors again; a Lenten retreat in the midst of the warm weather, where Fr. Joseph Honeycut of the Orthodixie podcast was our speaker (you can listen to the talks on his AFR podcast); and, unfortunately, a cool-down in the warm weather (the high today is 39 degrees).

The little girl that I watch during the day got what they thought was tonsillitis, was prescribed amoxicillin for it, and then broke out in a rash all over her body. This was determined to be an amoxicillin allergy and lasted for several days, went away, and then was replaced by a bright red, lacy rash only on her face with no other symptoms that the doctors couldn't identify. Any moms out there have bells ringing about that description? It turned out to be Fifth Disease, which she would have been contagious with before the rash showed up and was probably what caused the symptoms that were attributed to tonsillitis. Neither of my kids seem to have gotten it, but it does pose a danger to pregnant women, especially in their first trimester, since it can be passed on to the baby in-utero and has been known to cause miscarriages. I can have a blood test to find out if I had it, but I can't really see what good that would do, since there's no treatment for it or anything anyone could do. I think leaving it in God's hands is about all that I can do. Pray for us, if you would.

Tomorrow, Lazarus Saturday, our kids will supposedly march in procession with palm branches in anticipation of Palm Sunday, so the girls are very excited. We were asked on Thursday to bring a dish to the brunch that will follow the Saturday Liturgy. Apparently this is done here every year, so no one felt the need to warn us newcomers! :) Another puzzling thing is being told that fish and dairy are acceptable inclusions in the brunch dishes, when Saturday is a caviar, wine, and oil day. I don't mean to gripe on this subject, but it always seems odd to me when the local church does not help us keep the fasts that the Church prescribes.

For the next week or so, we'll be attending services as we can and trying to figure out how Pascha is done around here. Apparently the food one brings in one's Pascha basket is not actually to be eaten at the post-service meal, which is all provided by the refectory's Chef Nat. We've seen on the community service lists that people are needed to help make pounds & pounds of Cheese Pascha and dye eggs. Does that mean we don't bring our own? We don't know. But whatever it is, it will be Pascha, and it will be glorious!!

The following week we are planning a visit to the Monastery of the Transfiguration in Ellwood City, PA with another St. Vlad's family. I am really looking forward to this visit, as I have been there before alone, and have long wanted to introduce my family to the love, warmth, and peace I found there. If I don't blog again before then, Blessed Pascha to you all!

Is This Lent?

2010-03-07T09:18:00.000-08:00

That is the question someone asked me last year when a series of traumatic things had happened in her life during the first part of Lent, and it struck me as odd because I had been so consumed with the Lenten season. It would be like asking, "Is this winter?" while surrounded by 12 inches of snow.

Now I understand, maybe, what she meant. This Lenten season has been more filled with colds than church services, nausea than fasting, and listlessness than ascesis. My father confessor told me it's just a different kind of Lent for me, and as such, it, too is a gift. So far I'm having a hard time seeing it that way, perhaps because it seems like much less of a choice than my other Lenten endeavors have been.

First, I think I may have taken on too much at the very beginning. Before my morning sickness kicked in, I volunteered to compile the student/staff directory that has been overdue since the fall AND be the "go-to girl" for the Wednesday evening potluck dinners after Pre-Sanctified Liturgy. The first was hard work, but rather quickly over. The second will continue until the end of Lent, and we're now in our second week of having no one volunteer to "host." Guess who hosts by default?

This is the second weekend (not in a row) that I've spent mostly resting or in bed. My husband has been gone both times, which shows the remarkable self-entertaining abilities of my children. They have been fantastic, but I know they can't wait for Papi to come home tonight (me either!)

Last weekend, I took my husband and older daughter (aged 4 1/2) to the subway station so they could ride into the city and see an El Greco art exhibit. Younger daughter and I stayed home, and I wasn't sure older daughter would handle it well, but she did. The exciting part of the trip (for her) was getting posters of two of El Greco's "icons." The exciting part of the trip (for me) was getting stuck in the heavy, wet snow while trying to parallel park on the street when I went to pick them up from the subway station. Believe it or not, in New York City, I was rescued by two young guys who appeared with shovels at the moment of my distress, who offered to dig me out for free. It seemed so appointed, so I let them!

The next day we visited a parish in New Jersey that had sponsored us for the St. Nicholas Project at Christmas (sent us some gifts). We wanted to thank them personally. It turns out that we were there on their priest's first Sunday back from a hospital stay, and he actually had a visiting priest celebrate the liturgy. People began recognizing us from the pictures I had sent them of the girls opening their presents, and by the time we got downstairs for coffee hour, we were literally besieged with greetings and hugs and kisses. We almost never made it to our seats! When we did, we had to move right away because the priests wanted to chat with us. I was trying to engage in that conversation while keeping one eye on our girls, but I soon found that I had nothing to worry about on that front, as friendly parishioners stepped in and talked with them, later giving them paper and markers to color with, and eventually they even played hide-and-seek with the Matushka! It was the warmest welcome we have ever received in a parish, hands down. They even had the thank-you letter and pictures I sent set up on a three-panel display board in the coffee hour hall area.

Other than that, I guess we're plodding along. Pray for me, a sinner.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2010-02-07T18:43:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share a song H. sang at the end of morning prayers the other day. It was spontaneous, so I'm not sure I recorded exactly what she sang, but it was something like this:

The Lord is my Shepherd,
We are his lambs
He always takes care of us

When we sleep
He never goes to sleep
He watches me all through the night

He is our light
When He shines on us
He wakes us up

I especially loved the part about the Lord never sleeping and watching us through the night. I would do well to remember His presence like that myself.

On a lighter note, singing wasn't the only proclaiming that H. was doing this week. We told her on Thursday that she was going to have a new sibling in October, and she has made it her personal mission to inform everyone on campus that "My mommy has a baby in her belly."

I know it's good form to wait until the end of the first trimester to spread the good news, but we wanted the seminary community to know because they are our support group, and it sort of ballooned from there. I'm finding it a little ironic that the girl's name we have picked out is partially in honor of my maternal grandmother, and when I told her this evening that we're expecting, she gave me my first negative response I've had the whole time. It reminded me that it does look a bit crazy, to someone who just looks through practical eyes, to have a baby while the breadwinner is in seminary and unable to bring in any income, because babies are expensive and having one usually puts the mommy out of commission for at least awhile where she can't earn money either. I'm glad I'm not around a lot of people who only think like that right now too. I'm around people who think children are a blessing; the more the merrier; and if God sends you one, it has to be the right time. So thanks be to God for this little apple-seed-sized bit of life inside me.

I'm Famous! (Not Really)

2010-01-31T19:32:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to give a shout out to the women's choir here at St. Vlad's (and to myself, indirectly, since I'm a member of the choir :) ).

You can read about us and hear clips from the service we sang in November at theSt. Vlad's Website.

Enjoy!

Thank You God for...

2010-01-19T18:27:00.000-08:00

I can't remember exactly when we started doing this (sometime in 2009, I think), but one of the parts of our family prayer rule for morning prayers is to pause and have each person say thank you to God for something. I started it as a way to involve both girls in the prayers in a way they can understand (they already have assigned parts to sing) and stress the importance of gratitude.

At first I was impressed by the fact that H. often expressed thanks for things like icons or the cross, and then I became concerned that she was just putting on a show and wasn't really digging in to find something she was grateful for. I liked K. (who was at the time less than two years old)'s thank yous for food or going swimming. They seemed more concrete, more like things a small child would be thankful for.

Over time, even K.s thank yous started to include mostly religious themes, and this morning, as I listed to her thank God for Saint Columba (whose icon card she was holding at the time) I realized just how appropriate those kinds of statements of gratitude are. There we are, standing in our icon corner, surrounded by crosses, prayer books, oil, holy water, the Bible, and images of holy people. Of course the girls would be thankful for those things and what they represent. They are living only in the moment and place in which they find themselves and they are thankful for it. Glory to God for that!

All in the Timing

2009-12-04T20:18:00.000-08:00

Our weeks here at seminary this semester have been flying by. I regret that I haven't had (or at least haven't taken) time to record the things we've experienced, especially the blessings, but here are a few:

At the beginning of November, I got to attend the Pan-Orthodox Clergy Wives' Retreat at Antiochian Village, held in memory of Kh. Joanne Abdullah. The guest speakers were Mother Christophora, of The Monastery of the Transfiguration in Ellwood City, PA (otherwise known as the holy land :) ), and Mat. Juliana Schmemman. The topic for the weekend was "How to Be a Clergy Wife and Still Go to Heaven." It was a blessing to be there among so many clergy wives who have endured for many years, and, of course to hear the speakers.

Around that time, the store in which I work finally got a new manager, after having had first an absentee one and then no manager from the time I arrived. There had been a lot of chaos there as a result of that lack of leadership and the staffing issues that were already present before the previous manager resigned, so it was such a blessing to have a good, solid leader come in and start to help things take shape.

I've really struggled with maintaining my 4:30 - 8:30 a.m. shift during the weekdays, but it was still better than working all afternoon and evening, which I had been doing before; I kept wanting to quit the job because of various reasons, which I won't enumerate here (but you can ask me if you really want to know), not the last of which was: I wanted to enjoy this short experience of being a seminary family living in an Orthodox community. It took a long time for me to go over the edge and actually quit because I didn't want to leave for the wrong reasons, I didn't want to give up the steady income, even if it wasn't a lot, and I didn't want to leave the people I worked with even more understaffed than they already were. It took my getting very sick in mid-November and spending two weeks getting well again to make me realize that maybe working 17-hour days (between the store, babysitting the child of another Seminary family, doing work around the house, and cutting hair) is not what I've been called to do. Physical stamina and a high energy level are neither one gifts I've been given. I have to do the best I can with the gifts I have been blessed with.

The day I decided, in the middle of my illness, to quit for sure, we received an unexpected check in the mail; maybe I'm just being silly, but that encouraged me to go ahead and let go of the job. It reminded me that I am not in control. Since that time, we've been told by three families that they are going to start supporting us every month, which, as long as they are faithful, will almost make up for what we'll lose from my paycheck. Now if only someone would promise to send us coffee for free... ( :) ) My last day at Starbucks will be December 11th, if all goes as planned.

Another blessing, related to the wonderful community here, is that my 4-year-old has been able to take ballet and art classes for free as part of our homeschool co-op; in addition, she gets to go to church school every week and have Kids' Cafe after Liturgy every Sunday (a snack time with presentations from the priest who led the liturgy that day and a Q & A time with him).

I can't say enough good things about both the formal Spouses' Program here at St. Vlad's (which has brought us speakers like Metropolitan Jonah and introduced topics like Clergy Taxation Laws) and the more informal Women's Group, in which we've recently learned such things as how to make knots for prayer ropes and how to bake prosphora bread and how it is used. I never cease to be amazed at the truly wonderful things I'm getting to learn about and hear just by virtue of being here.

The Women's Choir, of which I am a member, also had its debut at Vespers on November 21st. I'm told there should be an article about it, with audio clips of the choir and photos, on the www.svots.edu website soon. It certainly was a challenge to prepare for, but I'm told we sounded "angelic." Of course, that's nothing if we did not help to draw souls heavenward, which I pray that we did.

Finally, just this evening about 22 of the women on campus had a lenten recipe swap and movie night. I'll try to let you know how the new recipes are as I try them. Even in that, it's a blessing to know that I'm not the only one who struggles to find fast-friendly meals that taste good and are filling, inexpensive, and easy to make. In the words of another wife here on campus, "Sometimes you just need a little help from your friends!"

A Trip to the City

2009-11-30T19:48:00.000-08:00

We had visitors (my mother-in-law and aunt-in-law) during Thanksgiving week and decided, in the midst of the debate about whether or not to try to attend the Macy's parade on Thanksgiving, that it might be better to go into Manhattan on Wednesday and see what there was to see. Restaurant reservations were accordingly made for an early lunch at said aunt's favorite restaurant (over a month in advance, I might add). So I got off work at 8:30 a.m. on Wednesday morning and began the rounds to pick everyone up. I picked up my husband at home - check. I picked up our stroller from the patio - check. I picked up my mother-in-law and my children from the hotel - check. Coats to combat the cold, windy day - not checked.

Then we headed to the Crestwood train station, naively thinking that there would be some solution for parking a car there the whole day while a person traipsed into the city. Should I have known better? Probably. I'm know I've heard people talk about going to certain stations to park all day, but the information didn't stick with me until I experienced myself that nowhere at or even on a side street near the train station is there a spot where a person can pay to park for more than four hours at a time. No problem - surely there's a paid garage, right? Let's ask the GPS unit to find us a parking garage. We did, and it led us to a very nice house (which was definitely not a parking garage) right near seminary. So we went with plan D, which was to park at the seminary and walk back to the train station. This caused us to arrive at the station after all the closer-together morning trains had already departed, so we had to wait 45 minutes for the next train. Still, once it came, we got on and rode into Grand Central Terminal with no problem.

Thank God that, once we arrived at Grand Central, my mother-in-law had the brilliant idea to feed the children something before we launched out to find the restaurant, which, according to my printed schedule, should only take us about 15-20 minutes to get to. Our first mistake after that was to not ask anyone which way to go while we were still inside the Terminal. If we had, they likely would have directed us to (a) BUY A METRO CARD DAY PASS, which gets you access to buses and subways for the entire day and is the only way you can pay to ride these and (b) not go outside and wander around like idiots for an hour when we could take a shuttle and a subway and be there in a few minutes.

As it was, we exited Grand Central on the wrong side of the building, had to march around it in the freezing wind with no coats on, wait for our bus, which we then could not ride because we did not have MetroCards, wait in the freezing wind some more for my husband to go buy said cards, get on the bus and ride for 15 minutes in what turned out to be the wrong direction, get off (because it was at the end of the line), and wait for the exact same bus and driver to pick us up and take us the other direction. We got off the bus and started trying to figure out how to make our next connection. We must have had dazed, lost looks on our faces, because a kind New Yorker asked if we needed help and then helped us figure out that our connection was to a subway train and how to get into the station. We rode that subway to the closest spot we could find to our destination, and then had to run (you guessed it, in the freezing wind again) a few blocks to try to make it to the restaurant before they closed between lunch and supper. All told it had taken us from 9 a.m., when I picked up the hotel-dwellers until after 1:30 p.m. to get to the restaurant, which is less than a 30-minute drive from where we started.

You might think that by then we would have been humble enough to just ask how to get where we were going next, but I really did try to be self-sufficient one more time, as I spent about 5 minute studying the subway map in my travel guide before giving up and asking the coat-check attendant how to get to Times Square. It's a good thing that I did, because I was totally off.

After that, it was smooth sailing (because we asked people how to get where we wanted to go!) The only other hitch is that we almost missed our train home (and would have had to wait another half hour) because we assumed that we had to conver the off-peak tickets we bought earlier to peak tickets before we could get on the train. As it turns out, you can pay the ticket-taker on the train for this difference in fares (which we would have known if we had asked someone!)

So, if you're planning a trip to Manhattan, especially if you plan to use public transportation (which you should probably do, since parking is atrocious - been there, done that) these are the lessons you should take away from our experience: 1. Buy a Metro Card for each person over age 5 that you're traveling with. It's your key to an amazing world of "free" transportation; 2. Bring a coat, even if you think you won't need one; and, most importantly, 3. If you don't know where you're going or how to get there, or even if you think you do (because you have a map, guidebook, or pre-printed directions from the MTA website) - JUST ASK!

Belated Thanksgiving Post

2009-11-28T20:22:00.001-08:00

I suppose that one way in which I can be sure to pick "just the right words" is to use someone else's. So I give you here the Thanksgiving homily of Father Alexander Schmemann, delivered just before his death in 1983. This is read as the homily in the Thanksgiving Liturgy each year at St. Vladimir's (and in other parishes as well, I hear):

Everyone capable of thanksgiving is capable of salvation and eternal joy.

Thank You, O Lord, for having accepted this Eucharist, which we offered to the Holy Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and which filled our hearts with the joy, peace and righteousness of the Holy Spirit.

Thank You, O Lord, for having revealed Yourself unto us and given us the foretaste of Your Kingdom.

Thank You, O Lord, for having united us to one another in serving You and Your Holy Church.

Thank You, O Lord, for having helped us to overcome all difficulties, tensions, passions, temptations and restored peace, mutual love and joy in sharing the communion of the Holy Spirit.

Thank You, O Lord, for the sufferings You bestowed upon us, for they are purifying us from selfishness and reminding us of the “one thing needed”: Your eternal Kingdom.

Thank You, O Lord, for having given us this country where we are free to Worship You.

Thank You, O Lord, for this school, where the name of God is proclaimed.

Thank You, O Lord, for our families: husbands, wives and, especially, children who teach us how to celebrate Your holy Name in joy, movement and holy noise.

Thank You, O Lord, for everyone and everything.

Great are You, O Lord, and marvelous are Your deeds, and no word is sufficient to celebrate Your miracles.

Lord, it is good to be here! Amen.

These were the words of a dying man. O Lord, teach us all to be so thankful for whatever You bring to us.

(If you would like to read excellent commentary on this topic, I refer you to Fr. Stephen Freeman's blog, Glory to God for All Things, in his Thanksgiving Post for this year.)

Thanks Be to God

2009-10-30T06:28:00.001-07:00

I just paid our bills this morning, and while bill-paying isn't usually something we think of as a cause for thanksgiving, I was so thankful to be able to pay our bills. I am first thankful to God (glory to Him for all things), but I wanted to extend that thank you to those of you who have supported us this month and at previous times as well.

In a way, it is a kind of blessing to not know from month to month who God is going to move to help us so that we can do things like buy groceries or pay our car note. God would still be wonderful if He did not do it. Our friends would still be dear to us if they did not give. Our family would still be cherished even if they did not help at all. We can only look a few days or weeks into the future knowing how things will go, financially and otherwise. After that, it's a fog - unpredictable, hiding what we cannot see, leading us in directions we cannot now imagine. It's the way I often idealize and say that life should be, but unless I'm forced into it, as I am now, I rarely choose to not know what my next step should be.

On a different note, would you please pray for our friend, Tami? She is expecting their fourth child and has strep throat. Her husband is a student here as well, and they are dealing with the double dilemma of her sickness and not wanting any of their children, who all stay at home with Tami, to get sick. Lord have mercy.

Kids in the Church

2009-10-22T17:54:00.000-07:00

A couple of Mondays ago, all married students with children were required to attend a meeting on campus safety issues that the seminary both wants to hold and is required by their insurance company to hold. The main safety/security issues were addressed by Father Chad Hatfield. In addition to that, we were treated to the opportunity to hear Dr. Al Rossi speak a little bit about child development and discipline and Fr. Steven Belonick speak on children in church.

I was really nervous about having someone address us on the latter topic, because I have had my fair share of people telling me how I ought to be dealing with my kids in church; I figured that if it was going to be that kind of talk, at least I would not be the lone victim of such an attack, being in the good company of all the other students with children of their own. Father Steven must have anticipated that we would all be holding our collective breath, waiting to hear what complaints he would have for how we deal with our kids in church, because the first thing he said was that he wasn't going to be getting on to us and he knows how sensitive people can be about that topic. I was relieved to hear this, but then I wondered, what in the world is he going to talk about, if not that?

The answer is something that has really changed my life, in the least cliched and most practical sense of the phrase. Father Steven talked about how our primary responsibility, with regards to handling our children in church, is not keeping them quiet. (WHAT?) It is involving them in the services and teaching them, and this means that you must sacrifice your own desire to quietly, prayerfully participate in the services in the way that a childless adult can do for several years of your child's life.

He went on to give some other practical tips and items, but that first point of his is what I keep coming back to. Our parish priest back home in Texas always told us that having kids means that you don't get to attend to the services and pray as you might like to, but if he went on to say that what you should be doing while you're paying attention to your children is constantly working with them and engaging them in the services, I missed it. What Father Steven said was a news flash to me!

Let me tell you that, after having tried it for a week and a half, it is a lot more work to involve my children in the services than it was to just keep them quiet. My two-year-old, K., is more receptive to my attentions in that regard, so when I just have her (because my husband has H., the four-year-old), I hold her and whisper things to her like "Who's coming out of the doors now? (the deacon) "What does he have?" (a censer) "What's coming out of the censer?" (smoke) "What should we do?" (move up, then cross ourselves and bow when he passes by), and so on. H., being older and having become accustomed to being pretty well left alone during church services as long as she was quiet and not bothering anyone, seems to resent my new insistence that she pay attention and answer questions about what is going on. Most of her answers are, "I don't know." I think she'll come around, though. The hardest is when I have both of them in service because my husband is singing in the choir. I feel like the proverbial one-legged-man as I run back and forth between children, making sure that each is doing what she should be for the level she is at (standing at appropriate times, saying/singing the words to prayers she knows, watching what is going on, as well as generally being quiet and not bothering other people). I'm worn out after just a 45-minute vespers service!

One thing that this experience, along with singing in the women's choir, has revealed to me is that I am pretty clueless about the order of services. Maybe I've spent too much time being distracted by keeping my babies and children quiet to follow the services! I've been attending Orthodox services for 8 1/2 years now, so you'd think I would have picked up a little better on the various parts, but somehow, I haven't. I'm going to have to work on that. I think my friend in Texas was on to something when she was talking about making a book for her kids with photos of the major parts of the Divine Liturgy. I could use a book like that for myself (I mean, to show to my kids, of course :) ).

Doing Well & Doing Good

2009-10-17T19:54:00.000-07:00

Having just returned from my first confession since we came to New York, I've had opportunity in the past 24 hours for some reflection on our time here.

One thing we're enjoying in New York that we never could in Texas (for more than a day or so each year, anyway) is the changing of the leaves into their fall colors. Last Sunday we took a walk down the Bronx River Parkway Bike Path and really enjoyed the fall scenery. The girls collected acorns that were so thick in places that the grass appeared to be paved from a distance, and we got a look at some Canadian geese resting on their trip to sunnier climes.

The weather here has been in the low 40s, barely changing from midnight to noon for the past several days, just in time for me to start working openings at Starbucks. This means that it's not only pitch black when I get up at 3:30 a.m. to get ready for work, but it's soooo cold! I'm so thankful for the change in schedule, other than that, though, because it means that I get my work hours out of the way before the girls really get going for the day, and then I get to be with them all day and evening. Some mornings my husband wakes them and gets them ready for Matins at 7:30, while others he lets them sleep in if he can (if he's not required to sing then).

My poor K. is sick again, this time with a stomach bug AND a respiratory affliction, and one of them is giving her a slight fever. She's behaving beautifully in spite of being sick, except at meal times, when she proceeds to smear whatever tasty dish I've prepared all over her hands or the table. She just won't eat much of anything except at breakfast. We're trying to keep her hydrated and hope that this too shall pass quickly. She certainly hasn't let it stop her potty-training efforts. After we first arrived in New York, I had put her back into diapers because she was having more accidents than not, and the amount of laundry and the cost to do it was overwhelming me. This past week, I decided to tackle the potty training full-force once again, and I think she must have been more ready than the first time, because she's doing great.

One thing I've been so excited about is that I finally found a nearby grocery store that sells more than just food (it has a pharmacy, etc.), and at decent prices. It's about a mile and a half from seminary, but I never would have found it unless someone had told me it was there, because it isn't visible from the road. It's in a shopping center behind another shopping center. Who knew? I went there today, having forgotten what I've been warned about trying to grocery shop on a Saturday, and drove around for about 10 minutes trying to find any parking spot at all. Yonkers' shopping centers look on Saturdays like anyplace else's look like on the day after Thanksgiving. It's crazy.

H. has had a development in her sense of humor just in the past week. She's started laughing at things just because they strike her as funny (not because they're silly or someone's tickling her, etc.). For example, tonight, K. was playing with some foam Disney princess accessories, and thought she had grabbed one with two birds from the Cinderella movie. She was singing to it, "You can't fly anymore," when H. noticed that the piece she had was not the two birds, but was instead Lumiere, the candelabra, from Beauty and the Beast. This struck H. as so funny that she laughed that great little kid laugh, the best kind of laugh in the world. It's impossible not to laugh myself when she does that!

K. has taken to requesting a censer of her own while we're in church, lately. We have taken various attachments off of our diaper bag to make her a pretend censer that she can swing around. This is not so amazing, because kids usually imitate what they see others doing, and the deacon walks past us swinging a censer twice during each daily vespers service. However, what is a little bit more impressive to me is that the girls trade the censer back and forth, and when they do, the one who takes it will kiss the other's hand. This is also something the priest and deacon do at church, but it's not close to where we stand and is a much subtler action. It makes me wonder what other little things they notice that I think they don't.

I'd like to include more here about a recent talk we attended by Fr. Steven Belonick about kids in church, but I think it will have to wait until next time. I've been awake 19 hours and it's time to go to bed.

Change is in the Wind

2009-09-24T10:22:00.000-07:00

So it's now been three weeks of "business as usual" for my being back at work at Starbucks and having an extra child during the day, and for two of those weeks I've been homeschooling the two older ones. We're really enjoying the school part of things, although the four-year-olds are really struggling to be kind and gentle to one another. I guess that's part of school, too! Here's a picture of the two of them playing dress-up to go along with our lesson on "Things People Do" (aka jobs in the community).

This week I worked over 30 hours at Starbucks, not because I requested it, but because I had to. Now, at the end of the week, I feel exhausted, robbed of all energy, creative or otherwise.

I also feel constantly torn about working because it makes it so that I miss so many church services (either because I'm working during them or so tired from working the night before that, say, a 7 a.m. Divine Liturgy just doesn't seem possible) I also miss out on events and activities on campus, most of which are scheduled during my work hours, since my work hours are scheduled around my husband's class schedule. It isn't clear to me based on these reasons that I definitely should not work. I know that monastics sometimes are assigned tasks that mean that they often miss church services. They keep their cell rule of prayer and do their assignment, whether that's tending sheep and goats or attending services. It's about what that particular person is supposed to do to be obedient to God.

Things are not going smoothly with the child-swap arrangement either, so I think that change is in the wind with that. More to come, I'm sure. I would love to be able to stay home with the kids and be more of a support to my husband by freeing him up to concentrate on his studies, but we need to make up that little bit of income somehow. If the family I'm currently providing childcare for decides to keep their son with us and pays me for it, I could cut back my hours. If another family we've talked with chooses me as the childcare provider for their daughter, then I could see my way clear to stop working off campus. Nevertheless, not my will... Please pray for us to all be guided in the right path for us (and if you want to donate some money to help us along, or send some diapers or non-perishable foods, that would be great, too!)

In addition, in the past week we've had both kids get sick, and now I seem to have some variation on the same sickness (or a different one, who knows?); my youngest daughter's glasses snap in two (currently being held together with foam and tape); and someone hit our van while it was parked in the metered parking at the Scarsdale train station where I work. I happened to go out to the van during my meal break around 5:00 p.m. and noticed the damage. Otherwise I would not have gone out there until after 9:00, when it would have been too dark to see it. So I lost about 20 minutes of work/pay to wait for a police officer to come and file an accident report in case we decide to involve the insurance company.

It's been strange this weekend to see the locals acting so festive over a holiday that doesn't register on my radar: Yom Kippur. It starts tonight at sundown, but I'm not sure that there are so many Jews in Westchester County that the holiday itself is a cause for frivolity. It's probably more that everyone has off work on Monday on account of the holiday, including the public school students. I worked a 7 1/2 hour shift at Starbucks on Saturday, and there were very few moments during that time where there was no line. It was truly remarkable, especially when you consider that most of the store's business revolves around commuters who take the train, so Saturdays are usually pretty dead.

The girls got winter boots in the mail from their Gammie (my mother-in-law) this week. They were very excited and have been reluctant to take them off even to sleep since then. Leaves have been falling off the trees since we got here in August (I think they must always be doing that here), but with the cooler weather, I saw my first yellowing trees yesterday. Also, I'm not sure if this has to do with the weather, but I've had a couple of up-close encounters with wildlife that were less than welcome, particularly the raccoon that was inside a trash can that I opened up to throw a bag of trash in. I think we scared each other equally!

On Monday, I got to go to my first women's choir rehearsal. We sang one particularly beautiful arrangement that was written for women's voices. Otherwise, it appears I'm singing tenor. Whether that's because of this chest congestion or because my voice has gotten that low, only time will tell. After that, we had the Spouses' Program class offered by St. Vlad's for the spouses of students. This week we were treated to hear a guest speaker, Sister Veronica, who is a native of California but a nun in Greece. She talked to us mostly about prayer and had some really encouraging things to say.

We're Not in Kansas Anymore

2009-09-23T11:13:00.001-07:00

I've had plenty of opportunities to be reminded myself that I'm not from around here (getting lost frequently, as previously mentioned; having to ask customers to repeat themselves because I don't understand their accent or they are talking too quickly; not being able to find core menu items like Ro-Tel and chili beans at the grocery store; etc.), but I think I just had my first moment where someone else realized that I was not from around here on Monday.

K. and I took a trip to the bi-level Wal-Mart in White Plains. We parked in the parking garage, got a cart, and approached the elevators to go into Wal-Mart. An elevator came and we headed towards it along with a middle-aged man who was using a cane to help him walk. The person who had called the elevator got in and let the doors close without waiting for either of the other parties trying to make it to the door to get on. As the doors closed, I said to K., "I can't believe she didn't wait for us!" The gentleman with the cane apparently thought I was addressing him and said, "You really expected her to?" with an air of incredulity, looking at me is if I were crazy. I said, "Well, I'm from the south. We're polite like that."

Getting into a Routine

2009-09-10T19:44:00.000-07:00

I've worked out an arrangement with another mom here on campus where I watch/homeschool her four-year-old son during the day so that she can go to work, and then she takes the girls and her son home with her in the early evening hours so that my husband can get some studying done while I go to work.

So far it's working out well. H. gets a buddy to play with/conspire against me with :), and it's helping us establish a routine, since my friend's son is here during the same hours every day.

I'm using the Sonlight PreK 4-5 curriculum, with the addition of a handwriting program called Handwriting Without Tears (HWT). I really like the HWT materials so far. They really break down the process of making letters, and make a big deal over how each letter is made. If I didn't like it so much, I might not keep it because it is pretty expensive, especially for homeschooling. The book and teacher's guides weren't too bad, but then I started reading the teacher's guide and saw all the extra, specialized materials that it refers to. I ordered only what I thought was absolutely essential and that I couldn't make myself somehow.

We're going to start just the Sonlight part of it tomorrow, since I won't have both kids on Monday. I'm only watching the other child on days when the seminarians are in class. Normally this means Monday through Thursday, but next week, they have Monday off of classes for the Exaltation of the Cross.

Work here is going okay. I'm getting used to a two-person-at-a-time team of employees and to having people order things like "an iced twall twoffee nut." I'm also trying to humble myself and realize that working at someplace like Starbucks is really all that I'm going to be able to do right now while I'm only available in the evenings.

I'm still getting lost all the time. As recently as last night I had to call my husband from the car and ask him to look up where I was on Google maps and figure out how to get me home. We did finally get a power cord (auto charger) for the GPS unit that our friends loaned us, though, so maybe that part will get better. Last week I got lost in the Bronx - that was really scary! There are so many confusing or missing road signs here that it seems impossible for a newcomer not to get lost. It feels a little bit like a miracle everytime I return home safe and sound, especially if I do so without having gotten lost.

Grocery shopping is interesting here. The shop that's closest to us is open 24 hours and is the cheapest of the groceries I've found so far, but it doesn't have a great selection on some things. My husband and I were left scratching our heads at a lack of chili beans and RO-TEL, which are staples for us. I've since found RO-TEL at Target and another, more expensive grocery, but chili beans are apparently unheard of around here and are not as common as I once believed them to be, judging by the reactions of people I've asked. Between childcare and homeschooling during the day, working in the afternoons and evenings, church services, church school, and trying to do normal housework, I don't have time to go to two or three grocery stores a week, which is what it seems like most people do in these parts, so we're going to have to figure out how to stock up on what we can't find at our close, inexpesive shop at the places where we can find them or something.

We had a namesday party for H. last Saturday, to which we were late because we ended up taking a marathon trip to IKEA and got stuck in construction-related traffic for over an hour. However, despite the fact that we came home almost three hours later than planned, and I didn't get to make the brownies I promised H. we could have, a plate of leftover Starbucks goodies saved the day and all the kids had fun anyway. We just prayed the troparia for St. Elizabeth and offered treats and juice on the playground for a little while. Hope was so excited about this that she told a random customer in IKEA that it was her namesday. The lady looked at me with a puzzled expression and said, "She's so excited that is her... namesday?" so I had to explain. Ahhh, 4-year-old evangelism.

We still haven't made it into the city, but at the very latest, I'm sure we'll do so when my in-laws come to visit for Thanksgiving, unless someone offers to take us before then. I can't see our getting up the gumption to ride the train and the subway with the girls by ourselves just for the sake of seeing the city, but I do want to go. Right now I work in the train station, but have never been on a train here. The funny thing is, if you hear a sound like a train in Texas and it isn't accompanied by a train whistle, it's usually a tornado, so every time the train arrives, I think for a split second that it's a tornado!

Boundaries

2009-08-30T18:17:00.000-07:00

I left a new spouse's meeting tonight feeling very overwhelmed and teary (which usually go together in my case), my head spinning with options and choices and things to do. I came home and heard my husband getting the girls out of the bathtub and into their pajamas, but I couldn't handle anyone needing me at the moment, so I lay down on the loveseat and tried to gather my thoughts. I realized that what I was finding so upsetting was that I had been unable or unwilling (or something) to state what I really wanted - what was my ideal - as far as my job and the care of the children were concerned.

What is it about the institution of motherhood that is so intertwined with guilt? We feel guilty if we work and send our kids to school or daycare for not spending as much time with them as we could. We feel guilty if we keep them at home and don't contribute monetarily to the family. We feel guilty for doing things differently than our parents or maybe our friends. Whatever it is, we feel we could have done more or done it better.

We talked tonight at our meeting about how life in community requires one to set boundaries - for school time, play time, family time, date time, sleep time, study time, social time, etc. If you let them, your neighbors (or at least their kids) might be in your apartment all day or at times when you have other plans, so we each have to learn how to set and enforce boundaries. I realized that I also needed to set internal boundaries that I'm not going to let other people (intentionally or unintentionally) make me change or feel guilty for. I need to decide where I stand and draw a line there.

When I sat down to ponder it, and this definitely involved talking to my husband, I realized that what I've always really wanted is to stay home with my children. It's not clear cut. I feel torn about that decision when I realize that (a) we would be doing so much better financially if I took a full-time professional position, (b) I love being a librarian, and (c) the longer I go without using my degree, the less it is worth. However, I believe that my staying at home during the day is the best thing for my family right now. Considering other options makes me feel uneasy, and I think I should listen to that feeling.

There are other things that are still dependent upon outside factors and need telephone calls and outings to various offices to determine, but I have decided what would be my highest preference, and we can work around other details for that. I don't know much about boundaries, but I do know that you can only set them for yourself. You can't control what other people do, but you can decide how you respond to them. So here's to boundaries...

What a Week

2009-08-25T16:59:00.000-07:00

When I arrived at our apartment a week ago tomorrow, there was barely what you could call a path into each of the rooms. My husband had focused his efforts on the girls' room, for which I was grateful, so that they would have a place to sleep and play. However, the "living room" was completely full of boxes, stacked at least as high as my shoulders, if not higher, and I couldn't even see my bed or get to the bathroom easily. Our sofa was still in the hallway because it wouldn't fit through the front door. It was an overwhelming sight, to be sure. It didn't feel like we'd ever have a livable space, much less something that resembled a home.

When you add to that the presence of our children, who really couldn't be kept in the apartment as it was and had to be watched (by me, of course), I felt like I was having one of those dreams where something terrible is coming at you, but you can't run or even move.

In the week's time that has passed, things have gotten better. A new friend gave us some suggestions and took is to IKEA (cue the angelic singing). We've figured out nooks and crannies (OUTSIDE of our 450 sq. ft. apartment, the smallest on campus) in which to store our extra items that somehow, six weeks ago, we felt we couldn't live without. It's still far from organized, clean, easy, or (needless to say) perfect. The living room still looks like a tornado hit it, which it didn't, but it did get somewhat flooded during heavy rains on Saturday.

Very little is as I expected it to be. We're in the middle of the woods instead of the middle of a city. The way things run around here seems a little unorganized and chaotic to me. I'm not going to be able to walk or ride a bicycle to work because of the very narrow streets and/or parkway that are between me and it. I'm going to have to pay to park at work or ride the train there, which also costs money.

One thing that is as great as I hoped is the community of students here. We mostly know people in our dorm and the building. We see them on the playground, in the laundry room, and at spontaneous tea parties like we had this morning :).

God is faithful, and perhaps in time I will let Him teach me to give thanks in everything.

On the Road

2009-08-14T19:33:00.000-07:00

We've had a tumultuous and very stressful week, although nothing like the family I just heard of who had moved in at St. Vlad's, and now are being told to leave and go to Holy Cross by Met. Philip, while the wife is due any day to have a baby. Lord, have mercy on the Mathewes.

The girls have been off their routines big time, being shuttled back and forth between our old house and the house of B.'s aunt and uncle who were letting us borrow it while they were on vacation. Last night, K. didn't want to be left in the crib and kept crying, "I want to go home!" I didn't know what to say. We don't have a home at the moment! I told her that we weren't going home, we were going to New York, but that was no good. Finally, I told her that I wasn't going home, I was going to stay where we were. Didn't she want to stay with me? She did, but I still had to repeat it a couple of more times when she'd start in on, "I want to go home" again.

We couldn't have made it here, to Forrest City, Arkansas, without the help of so many people, most recently 7 men from our church who worked so hard in the blazing heat to load up our furniture and boxes onto the Penske truck. Thank God for them and God bless them.

A Major Snag in the Plan

2009-08-07T09:47:00.000-07:00

I found out at the pediatrician's office today that my health insurance through Starbucks was terminated as of July 31, 2009. I was flabbergasted, having heard nothing of this from Starbucks or Aetna. I called Starbucks Partner Benefits and found out that last quarter, I only worked 237 hours instead of the 240 required to maintain benefits eligiblity, so my insurance was cancelled. Because of 3 hours.

The only option we apparently have is to secure COBRA coverage until November, when I'll be elligible again to re-enroll. If we sign up for COBRA, that means that pretty much my whole paycheck will go towards the premiums and we'll have nothing left to live on.

Lord, have mercy.

Updates for the Week

2009-07-29T18:52:00.000-07:00

We had an appraisal on very short notice yesterday. As with the showing that led to the contract on the house, there were boxes everywhere, etc. We really hope that, despite all of that, the appraiser will value the house at at least the amount the buyers have offered us so that their lender will approve the loan.

Please keep me in your prayers. My spirits have been very low for a couple of days and I am dealing with pain in my back and pain/numbness in my limbs. I've tried shoe inserts with some success, but not total. It's becoming clear to me that I'm not going to last too long trying to work full time at Starbucks if the position in New York is as physically demanding as the one I have here.

Moving On: Catalyst, Catastrophe, and Curveball

2009-07-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

So much has happened in the past month that I feel overwhelmed by the task of trying to chronicle it, but I can at least sum up how the ball got rolling and what has happened with our house since we made that decision on June 25.

It felt for months and months like nothing was going our way. Then at the end of June, we had to tell St. Vlad's if we were coming and Fort Worth ISD if B. was not coming back. B. had said all along that if we were supposed to go to seminary this fall, the house would sell. I felt differently, but I figured I was probably wrong. Finally, as the deadline drew near, I told B. that I thought maybe it wasn't our job to decide what God was and wasn't going to do, that we had to just be obedient (and go to seminary).

Along those lines, I suggested that we should ask B.'s mom if she would rent our house from us until it sold. He did, and she was willing, so we were off. The very next day, my store manager e-mailed four store managers in New York, asking if they would need any employees in September and recommending me to them. We didn't hear back and didn't hear back. He even tried two more that were a little further away (none being more than three miles from campus, though, New York being what it is!). Still nothing. So Brian (store manager) suggested that I start calling the stores, just being persistent and professional.

I was dreading doing that because I know how difficult it can be for people who don't work there to get ahold of OUR store manager, but after a week and a half of no response to his e-mails, I had to take his advice. I called three stores that day, and the first two sounded positive about the job prospects, but at the third one that I called, the manager told me to stop calling stores because she wanted to hire me. I called my manager and told him, and he said they would work out the details. That was on a Tuesday.

The following Saturday my mom was here and B.'s mom had come over to help us pack. Around 11 a.m., I got an e-mail from Centralized Showings Service about a showing between 2:30 and 3:30, which I accepted. So we stopped packing and started cleaning. We got the girls down for their naps, and then we sat down to wait for the people to show up. While we were waiting, there was another call for a showing between 3:30 and 4:30. When the later showing's agent and clients showed up, I realized that the 2:30 people never came, but sometimes that happens.

After the 3:30 people left, we went back to work, doing laundry and packing boxes like crazy. We went to bed late, and left the house a huge mess on Sunday morning. We came home after church, got the girls down for their naps, and sat down to relax for a few minutes. We were expecting some people to come pick up K.'s crib, which they were purchasing, but the knock on the door at 2:30 was not them. It was a realtor and two clients (couple). The realtor said they had an appointment between 2:30 and 3:30. It was only then that I realized that I hadn't noted the DAY of the 2:30 appointment. Oops.

For some reason, I didn't freak out about the house being a mess, etc. I just told them we were in the middle of packing and the house was a mess, but if they didn't mind, they could come on in. We even thought they weren't even going to be able to see the girls' room because they were sleeping in there, but they woke up partway through the showing. So everything that could have been wrong with that showing was:

the house was totally cluttered
it was also dirty (like, H.'s wet clothes from an accident were still on the floor)
and half of us did not leave the house because B. had to go get the girls when they woke up

Needless to say, we were shocked when the woman client old B. she felt that there was "a peace" here. She asked him if we already had a contract on the house and seemed relieved when he told her we didn't. She told each of us that they were going to make an offer on it, which they did. We were apprehensive, based on the low amounts of our previous offers, but on Monday, we got an offer that was our full asking price minus only $100 of their closing costs. The same day I found out that my transfer to the NY Starbucks went through, so I spent the whole day walking around saying, "I cannot believe it!" (yes, for those of you who are moms, just like Quincy from Little Einsteins :) ).

Many of our friends and family members have made much of the fact that B. and I stepped out and said we were going and that is when the house sold. I obviously think it was important for us to commit to doing what we felt God was calling us to, but I think the bigger lesson here is that we were (and are) not in control. We couldn't pick the time or the people or the way the house looked or how it would all go. When it was supposed to happen, it did, despite the fact that we weren't able to try hard to make a good impression, etc. And even if the house contract falls through and things continue to go in ways we hadn't forseseen, we will still be okay.

Like anything, there have been hitches and hiccups along the way, but despite the fact that I hate crowds, have no desire to live in New York, we don't know what our apartment will be like, and we're leaving behind everyone we know and love here in Texas to go to a place where we have no family or friends, I feel peaceful about moving there. I think Hope actually put it best when B.'s Aunt T. asked H. if she wouldn't rather stay here in Fort Worth with her, Gammie, Grandpa, and everyone. H. said, "That would be nice, but I have to go." I think it will be okay.

Just The Right Words

2009-07-26T20:15:00.000-07:00

I've never wanted to start a blog before, because I didn't really think I had anything worth saying for just anyone to read. I have a hard enough time keeping my mouth shut without having another outlet for my chatter.

Recently, however, I've succumbed to the pressure of friends who want to hear about our adventures in New York at seminary, so I decided to revive this old blog that I did as a requirement for a class on children's poetry at TWU. I named it "Just the Right Words," because that reflects what I think good poetry is. It should be concise, containing only exactly the right words needed to create the image or idea in the mind of the reader. I've decided to keep this name in light of the struggle I mentioned above that I have with talking too much.

Using the just the right words, only the right words, is what I long to be in the habit of, so I pick my title in much the same way many of us converts to Orthodoxy picked our saints. We looked for someone we would like to be like, not necessarily someone we were alreadylike, trusting that that saint would pray for us that we would be obedient as they were. So here you have it: Just the Right Words, or Our Adventures in Seminaryland.

2007-04-19T19:21:00.000-07:00

Janeczko, Paul B., ed. 2001. Dirty laundry pile: Poems in different voices. Illus. by Melissa

Sweet. New York: HarperCollins.

I read two other books of poetry selected by Paul Janeczko books before I chose this one. It was my favorite because all of the poems seemed like they would appeal to and be understood by the children that I teach, PreK through fifth graders and because I love to read writing and poems written from unusual perspectives, like objects or animals. As with all of his books that I read, the poems are high in quality. Mostly their mood is silly, although a few are more serious. They range in “speakers” from a seashell to the winter wind to a crayon to a pair of red gloves. Most, if not all, of the poems were previously printed in other books or anthologies, and I really appreciate the way Janeczko brings them all together in this book with a theme of different voices.

One of my favorite poems in the book is “Prayer of a Snowflake,” by Cynthia Peterson, on the fifth page (pages are unnumbered). It reads as follows:

“Prayer of a Snowflake”

Let me land, oh Lord,
On a narrow needle of pine,
or a sheltered slope
where I can memorize
the trim track of a passing fox.
I want more
than a month before melting.

If I can’t have
that long, quiet life,
grant me a sledded slope.
Or better yet, I hope
for my swirling journey to end instantly
on the hot tongue
of some shivering child
out reveling in the return
of my tribe.

Amen.

I like this poem because it seems like what a real snowflake might say, had they brains and mouths for thinking and speaking. I also think it has numerous options for sharing with students. Younger children can just enjoy it as it is; older ones, capable of more abstract thinking, can think about what kind of life they want – long and sheltered or short and glorious or something else.

Another one I really like is “Crayon Dance,” by April Halprin Wayland. It’s about a “Sky Blue” crayon who wants to be picked out of the box and then is. He revels in the movement he experiences through the child’s hand and in what he is coloring. In the penultimate stanza he cries: “They gave me a chance! / All of me rocks in this / Fine, wild dance— / The dance of me, Sky Blue!” I just love thinking of what a crayon feels about being used, and it certainly opens up the imagination to what other art supplies or tools would say about their own use by us humans.

As I mentioned, there are also serious poems in the book, like “The Red Gloves,” spoken by (you guessed it ) a pair of red gloves who want their owner to come back and find them, and “Roots”, spoken by a tree about the great importance of its roots, which it compares to “a grandmother’s fingers.” What a great image!

One more poem I must share because it is about poetry and words (and you can’t pick a more poetic topic than poetry), is “Hippopotamus,” by Ronald Wallace:

“Hippopotamus”

I am tired of wallowing
in this mud and my own hide.
If I were a poet,
and not a hippopotamus,
I could be anything I wanted.
A gazelle, for instance.
The word springs from my mouth,
grows graceful
legs and muscles:
gazelle, gazelle,
it dances on its syllables.
Excited by flies,
I waddle over to my thick wife,
full of the secrets of poetry.

One thing I would say is that the book’s layout isn’t the most practical. As I mentioned, there are no page numbers, making it difficult to refer to or return back to a particular poem; there is no list of what poems are included either in the form of a table of contents or an index. There are some very fetching, child-like, watercolor illustrations by Melissa Sweet on each page, illustrating the various masks the poets take, about which sometimes there is one poem and sometimes there are two or more, from laundry to trees to kites. All the text of the poems is set off nicely and easy to read, but I do wish there were at least page numbers to help me find the poems again.

Overall, this is a really enjoyable book. It is full of poems I would definitely share with my students during poetry breaks or other instruction and that I would refer teachers to when they come to me for material to use on certain topics or writing techniques. The dramatic voice type used, known as a mask, really brings these everyday topics to life in a new way. After all, isn’t that part of the joy of poetry: exploring new perspectives on things we already know or know about?

Poetry Break #11 - Serious Poetry

2007-04-11T15:55:00.000-07:00

Introduction: Talk about what it means to fit in and what makes some people different. Ask students if they’ve ever felt that they didn’t fit in. Tell them we’re going to read a poem about what that feels like.

Read the Poem:

“Speech Class (for Joe)”
by Jim Daniels

We were outcasts—
you with your stutters,
me with my slurring—
and that was plenty for a friendship.

When we left class to go to the therapist
we hoped they wouldn’t laugh—
took turns reminding the teacher:
“Me and Joe have to go to shpeesh clash now,”
or “M-m-me and J-Jim ha-have to go to
s-s-speech now.”

Mrs. Clark, therapist, was also god, friend, mother.
Once she took us to the zoo on a field trip:
“Aw, ya gonna go look at the monkeys?”
“Maybe they’ll teach you how to talk.”
We clenched teeth and went
and felt the sun and fed the animals
and we were a family of broken words.

For years we both tried so hard
and I finally learned
where to put my tongue and how to make sounds
and graduated,
but the first time you left class without me
I felt that punch in the gut—
I felt like a deserter
and wanted you
to have my voice.

(Daniels, Jim. 1988. Speech class. Rpt. in The place my words are looking for, 43-44. 1990. Ed. Paul Janeczko. New York: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers.)

Extension: This poem makes a nice addition to a unit on belonging and fitting in, which for younger students could feature books like Hooway for Wodney Wat by Helen Lester and Timothy Goes to School by Rosemary Wells, or for older students it could introduce reading a novel like Geeks by Jon Katz, Lizard by Dennis Covington, or Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli.

2007-04-04T16:11:00.000-07:00

Baird, Audrey B. 2002. A cold snap! Frosty poems. Illus. by Patrick O’Brien. Honesdale, PA: Boyds Mills Press.

This assignment was to review a favorite book of poetry published since the year 2000. I am glad we were not asked to review our most favorite, but simply “a” favorite book, as I would still be standing at the poetry shelf trying to decide what to do in the former case. I chose this book because I felt that the poems are high in quality; they evoke a variety of moods, thoughts, and emotions; the book is beautifully and appropriately illustrated by Patrick O’Brien; and I really enjoyed the poet’s voice and take on the subject matter. It also probably helps that I tend to be a little nostalgic about cold weather and winter, since I am a displaced Kentuckian (who also used to live in Idaho and North Dakota) living in Texas.

One of my favorite poems in the book is the first one, “Caution,” (p. 6 & 7) and would be very hard to reproduce in the way it appears in the book, since there are some special font effects. It begins as follows:

“Caution”

Put on
a sweater
to read
this book.

Don’t leave
the door open.

Turn up the
thermostat.

Grab an
afghan.

Words like
balmy, warm,
and mild
won’t have
a chance here.

Words like
nippy,
crisp,
and cold
own
this book.

Later it reads:

Cold

Be careful
using this
biting
word.

It could
nip the nose
of neighboring
nouns,

turn
adjectives
to ice…

Another favorite poem is “Trees and Me” (p. 10) It is in the first part of the book with several other poems about how winter starts. Later the poems are about the experience of the middle of winter.

“Trees and Me”

Trees undress
in November,

dropping
their clothes
where they stand.

I wonder if
Mother Nature
shakes her head
and says,

“Socks
and underwear
everywhere!”

like my mother does.

I think children would really relate to this poem, even ELL students. It has humor to it, but it is the kind that everyone understands: it is funny because it is true (almost all mothers scold their children for making a mess).

There are more serious poems in the book, like “Leaving the Library,” on page 14, and “Weather Term,” on page 16, while many of the poems are very nostalgic, like “A Ritual,” on page 17, about taking winter clothes down from storage.” One more poem worth sharing has such great imagery and sounds to it; it begs to be read aloud (as if all poems didn’t). This is “The Traveler,” from page 21:

“The Traveler”

Ravenous and savage
from its long
polar journey,

the North Wind

is searching
for food—

and wild to find
shelter tonight.

Starved, it

gnaws

on my house
until the roof
groans,

and
screams
wail down
my chimney.

Frigid, it

tears

at my
house,

trying to
force
its way in,

until
frozen
nails

pop

Then,
at eight o’clock,

spent and
weary,

it wraps around
my chimney
with a

sigh

when Dad
builds a fire.

The book has a very attractive layout as well. It has a table of contents at the front, which I always appreciate for finding poems again. Then, almost all of the poems are printed on white paper, with either small illustrations on the same page or opposite larger ones. This helps there never to be too much or too little white space around the poem. In addition, the pictures really highlight the content of the poems so well. For example, the poem, “The Traveler,” reproduced above, is accompanied by a painting of a weathervane being whipped about by the cold, winter wind. My favorite illustration is on the last page with the poem “Add It Up.” The poem is just one line: “A soft feather quilt + a raw wintry night = sleeping, polar-bear warm. The illustration, which covers the entire page (the poem is printed in white text at the top of it) shows a bed with a white down quilt over it and the top of a child’s head peeking over the edge. At the foot of the bed, the bedspread sort of turns into a sleeping polar bear. The dark blue sky is filled with stars and snow, which are falling on the bed and the bear. It is beautiful.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking for poems about this topic, especially the anticipation or approaching of winter. The poems are well-written and the book presents them very nicely.

Poetry Break #9 - That Tragic Night

2007-03-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

Setting the Stage: A copy of the poem will be displayed on chart paper or an overhead projector in front of the class, who will be seated on the floor. The librarian/teacher will distribute silk flowers (preferably tulips) as props.

Introduction: Talk about how it feels to freeze or forget your words or otherwise disappoint everyone when your "big moment" comes.

Inviting Participation: After reading the poem aloud at least once, the teacher/librarian should invite individual readers to read the regular text stanzas, while the whole class reads the italicized text (the refrain) in chorus.

Read the Poem:

The Tragic Night

	Bloom! Bloom!
	I was supposed to bloom
	When the lights shone
	On my side of the room!
I was a tulip,
In our class spring play,
My part was to bloom,
When lights shone my way.
All of the flowers
Were curled up so tight,
On one side of the stage,
In the dark of night.
	Bloom! Bloom!
	I was supposed to bloom
	When the lights shone
	On my side of the room!
I waited
For those lights to say,
Flowers, bloom,
It's a splendid day!
I didn't open my eyes
Or even take a glimpse,
But it took so long that
My whole body grew limp.
	Bloom! Bloom!
	I was supposed to bloom
	When the lights shone
	On my side of the room!
I started to hear
Such a soft, dreamy tune,
Then I fell asleep,
In my flower costume.
	And that's when the lights shone
	On my side of the room.
All the tulips
So slowly rose,
Stretched their petals,
Began to grow,
Filled a garden
In perfect rows.

But

One dumb flower
Stayed tucked up tight,
Didn't hear the sounds,
Didn't see the lights,
Didn't bloom at all,
That tragic night.
	Bloom! Bloom!
	I was supposed to bloom
	When the lights shone
	On my side of the room!

Dakos, Kalli. 1993. The tragic night. In Don't read this book whatever you do! Poems about school. Illus. by G. Brian Karas, 37-39. New York: Alladin Paperbacks.

Extension: Read the book The Rainbow Tulip by Pat Mora. Discuss the similarities and differences (mostly differences) in the two students' performances as tulips.

Poetry Book Review 8 - American History, Fresh Squeezed

2007-03-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

Carol Diggory Shields. 2002. American history, fresh squeezed! Illus. by Richard Thompson. Brooklyn: Handprint Books.

The purpose of this book, according to the poet, is to tell the stories in history that she wished she’d paid attention to in 6^th-grade history class, but to condense them. “Why can’t you learn about the Boston Tea Party in 17 lines? Or the Louisiana Purchase in 10?” she asks.

What follows are 45 poems about American history arranged chronologically. Some are funny (see “The Pilgrims” on page 9), some are just silly (see “The Purchase” on page 17), and others are more serious and reflective of the sadder events of our nation’s past (see “Trail of Tears” on pages 22-25), while some clearly have a mnemonic purpose (see “Presidents on Parade: Part I” on pages 26-27). All reinforce the purpose of the book to tell stories about the people who make up our history and to do it in a way that covers the major details and doesn’t get lost in the minor ones.

The book is made more enjoyable by the pen-and-ink drawings of Richard Thompson, which appear either on the page opposite each poem, or below them. I enjoyed, for example, the sketch of a tourist-trap kiosk set up in the middle of the woods and owned by the Carnarsie Indians that accompanies the poem “Manhattan,” about how the Dutch paid these Indians for Manahttan Island, but it turned out that they didn’t own it.

At the top of each two-page spread runs a timeline with generally accurate (though sometimes humorously written) events shown in the years in which they occur. For example, on pages 8 and 9, it shows “1607: First permanent English colony is founded at Jamestown, called ‘Jimtown’; 1609: English colonists prepare to leave Jimtown; 1611: Colonists decide to stay following first tobacco harvest; 1620: Before going ashore, Pilgrims check to see who they look, using the Mayflower Compact.” After this point in the book, though, most of the events actually did happen.

In addition to being arranged in chronological order, the poems are also listed in an index by title at the back of the book. Next to each title is a parenthetical explanation of what it is about. This would make it easier to find a poem about a specific event, instead of having to search through all the poems in the era in which it occurred.

This was a very enjoyable book, but no poetry book review would be complete without a sample of the work contained therein. The following poem from pages 44-45 is entitled “Poor You” about child labor in at the turn of the last century:

“Poor You”

Oh poor, poor you!
All that homework you must do,
And then there are the chores—
Feed the dog, sweep the floors.
Don’t you wish that you
Lived in nineteen-oh-two?

Only three short months in school!
(Now that sounds really cool),
And throughout the other nine,
You’d be working in a mine,
Thirteen hours every day
(No summers off
or time for play).

Or maybe you’d rather chill
By working in a mill,
Tending a huge machine
That spits dirt and grease and steam.
Dawn to dark, rain or shine,
Each day you’d earn one thin dime!

Don’t you wish that you
Lived in nineteen-oh-two?

Poetry Break #7 – Poems for Spring

2007-03-07T15:23:00.000-08:00

Setting the Stage: Show a short slideshow with a multi-media projector of pictures of rain falling in various places on various people.

Introduction: Ask students to think about whether or not they like the rain. Tell them we are about to read a poem about rain. As they listen, they should try to predict whether the poet will say he likes the rain or not. (Pause before the last line and ask students for their opinions on this.)

Read the Poem:

“April Rain Song”

Let the rain kiss you.
Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops.
Let the rain sing you a lullaby.

The rain makes still pools on the sidewalk.
The rain makes running pools in the gutter.
The rain plays a little sleep-song on our roof at night—

And I love the rain.

(Hughes, Langston. 1960. April rain song. Rpt. in Hull, Robert, ed. 1991. Poems for spring, 30. Illus. by Annabel Spenceley. Austin, TX: Steck-Vaughn Library.)

Extension: Now tell students that we are going to pretend we all hate it when it rains. Point out how Langston Hughes didn’t say, “The rain sounds like a lullaby,” but just said, “Let the rain sing you a lullaby.” Ask them each to come up with a sentence that could tell something you hate about rain, but do it in a creative way that will surprise the reader. After writing, compile the sentences to make a group/class poem about hating the rain.

Poetry Book Review #6, Love That Dog

2007-02-28T18:41:00.000-08:00

Creech, Sharon. 2001. Love that dog. New York: HarperTrophy.

Reading this interesting book in this unique genre of verse novels has left me a little puzzled. On the one hand, I really enjoyed and appreciated the story of Jack and his poetry notebook and his dog. What educator among us doesn’t like the story of a kid who gets turned on about something he’s being taught in the classroom? On the other hand, it’s not the kind of poetry I’m used to reading. Some of it seemed like nothing more than short, choppy prose, like the entry from October 10, page 5 in my copy:

“You didn’t say before

that I had to tell why.

The wheelbarrow guy

didn’t tell why.”

That’s not to say that none of the main text of the poem contains poetic elements. There is repetition, like on October 4, page 4:

“Do you promise

not to read it

out loud?

Do you promise

not to put it

on the board?”

and part of the entry from October 24 on page 9 has nice rhythm and onomatopoeia:

“Some of the tiger sounds

are still in my ears

like drums

beat-beat-beating.”

Of course, Jack does write some excellent poetry in response to his teacher’s requests, like his “Blue Car” poem, meant to be like William Carlos Williams’ “The Red Wheelbarrow:”

"So much depends

upon

a blue car

spattered with mud

speeding down the road.”

This poem has great imagery, even if the reader has no idea what significance the blue car has to the boy yet. Jack says he doesn’t like it, but I think he is still struggling with understanding what poetry is. What he says about this in his entry on January 17, pages 22 & 23, is that “maybe the wheelbarrow poet was just making a picture with words and someone else—like maybe his teacher—typed it up and then people thought it was a poem because it looked like one typed up like that.” He doesn’t realize that making a picture with words, the right words, is poetry.

The story is entertaining and maybe a little inspiring. It has some good poetry in it. Perhaps the best part is that it’s told in very few words, which is a great boon to struggling readers who have a hard time with sheer volume of words in the traditional novel. I’m glad I read this book and I think I will try to recommend it to my students where it is appropriate.

Poetry Break #5 - Dizzy Wind

2007-02-21T15:55:00.000-08:00

This week's poetry break is based on the poem "Dizzy Wind" by Lisa Westberg Peters. It's in her book Earthshake: Poems from the ground up, which is full of poems on other great earth science topics, like layers of the earth, lava, and glaciers. The poem has a somewhat concrete form, so it would be impossible to discusss it without showing here an image of the poem on the page in the book:

Setting the Stage: A copy of the poem will be displayed by a multi-media projector in front of the class, who will be seated on the floor. The librarian/teacher will have a globe as a visual aid.

Introduction: Review what students already know about the movement of the earth and the cardinal directions.

Inviting Participation: Point out the way the words in the poem move with the directions they mention. Ask students to hold their hands in front of them and swoop down on the word "south," left on the word "west," and so on.

Read the Poem: as written above

(Peters, Lisa Westberg. 2003. Dizzy wind. In Earthshake: Poems from the ground up, illus. by Cathie Felstead, 11. New York: Greenwillow Books.)

Extension: Use the globe to show how the earth spins. Let one student spin the globe slowly to the right (east) while another tries to track a straight line from the North Pole down. Show students how the "wind" (that is, the student's finger) ends up to the west of its original longitude.

Poetry Book Review #4 - Love to Mamá

2007-02-15T16:22:00.000-08:00

Mora, Pat, ed. 2001. Love to Mamá. Illus. by Paula S. Barragán M. New York: Lee & Low.

This is a very high-quality book, containing poems by Liz Ann Báez Aguilar, Francisco X. Alarcón, Rane Arroyo, Mimi Chapra, Judith Ortiz Cofer, Rigoberto González, Carmen D. Lucca, Tony Medina, PatMora, Cristina Muñiz Mutchler, Daniel A. Olivas, Virgil Suárez, and Jennifer L. Trujillo. Some of these, such as Francisco Alarcón, Judith Ortiz Cofer, and, of course, Pat Mora were already familiar names to me. Still others, such as Rane Arroyo, Rigoberto González, and Tony Medina have published books of poetry that I had never encountered before. Others had published other genres before, and one poet included could not be called anything but new, as she is only 15 years old (Cristina Muñiz Mutchler).

In her introduction, Pat Mora describes her relationship with the maternal figures in her life and says these poems are intended to “share [the poets’] love for their mothers and grandmothers” and that all of them are “proud to be Latino writers.” These two messages are certainly clear and all of the included poems reinforce that purpose, whether they are simply nostalgic, overwhelmingly proud, or simply full of admiration.

The layout of the book, especially the illustrations, very much enhances the poetry contained in it. The pencil/cut paper/gouache illustrations by artist Paula S. Barragán M. are works of art in themselves, but the poetry and the illustrations really do compliment each other. For example, the poem “Palomita,” by Judith Ortiz Cofer reads as follows:

Palomita

Wearing a sky-blue skirt

embroidered by an old woman

named Consuelo from a story

she told Mamia long time ago

on her island, a cuento

in gold, brown, and silver threads,

a shower of sunlight

falling like drops of gold on

a little golden girl

who turns into a silver dove

and flies around and around a blue sky

my mami is walking with me in the park.

Palomita, palomita, is the name

she calls me, her little dove

happy to be going anywhere with her,

flying like a bird around and around

my mami in her sky-blue skirt

made from an island story

The accompanying illustration is on a dark green background with cut-paper images of bright green leaves, evoking the park or the native island mentioned in the poem. Set on this background is a woman in a long skirt. Her head is small and seems far away, but her body gets larger and larger the further down the page it goes, which seems to me partly the way a little girl would see her mom, skirt up close, head far away, and partly a way to emphasize the significance of the skirt in the poem. The skirt has on it a sun, drops of gold, a dove, and clouds, as one might imagine Mami’s skirt to have from reading the poem. The colors aren’t exactly as described, but the artist has still captured the essence of the poem beautifully.

The poems all appear in a united font on either all-white pages or all-white sections of the pages, so as not to compete with Barragán’s vibrant images. This makes it easy for the eye to find and read the poems and makes for a very appealing visual design as well. I regret that Mora did not add to the other outstanding aspects of the layout of this book by including a table of contents, index, or other aids to finding poems. It does have a glossary, which is not only a nice addition but might be considered necessary because of the many Spanish words used in the poems.

Overall, this is a very enjoyable book that I would love to share with my students, albeit many of the poems are more suitable for the older children in my school, which serves PreK-5^th grade. The following poem is my favorite, probably because my own daughter is being raised bilingual, and it also happens to span the greatest age range among my students:

“My Tongue is Like a Map”

Mami said yes, Abuelita sang sí.

They said, Two languages make you a rich man,

But words never paid for my penny candy.

Agua, water. Arroz, rice. Niño, me!

Arroz con leche, sang Abuelita

As my mami said, A is for Apple.

My ears were like a radio, so many stations.

Sometimes I would dream in English and Spanish.

I was a millionaire each time I said yes and sí.

- Rane Arroyo

Poetry Break #3, "New Jacket"

2007-02-06T19:26:00.000-08:00

This post was to be based on a poem by an NCTE Award for Poetry for Children recipient, so I chose a poem by Mary Ann Hoberman, who won that award in 2003. "New Jacket" appears in her book Fathers, Mothers, Sisters, Brothers: A Collection of Family Poems (see full citation at the end).

Setting the Stage: A copy of the poem (provided below) will be on chart paper in front of the class, who will be seated on the floor. A variety of nicer items of clothing will be placed appropriately as props.

Introduction: Ask students to share about a special dress or item of clothing they had to take really good care of. Older students can give a quote of something their mom or dad actually said about that item.

Read Poem:

"New Jacket" by Mary Ann Hoberman

I've got a new jacket.
I don't even care.
What good is a jacket
You can't even wear?

A not-everyday jacket

That's-not-for-play jacket

Do-as-I-say jacket

Just isn't fair.

It's yellow and red.
With a zigzag design.
They bought it for me
And they said it was mine.

A must-keep-it-neat jacket

Not-for-the-street jacket

Don't-you-look-sweet jacket

Isn't that fine?

I think that they bought it
Just so they could say
Go take off that jacket.
Don't wear it today.

A don't-get-it-messed jacket

Please-keep-it-pressed jacket

That-is-your-best jacket

Put it away.

(Hoberman, Mary Ann. 1991. New jacket. In Fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers: A collection of family poems, illus. by Marylin Hafner, 12. New York: Puffin Books.)

Inviting Participation: This poem almost begs to be read by at least two people. For older students who are proficient readers, after reading the poem a couple of times aloud as a class, invite two individuals to read up front, one as the girl and one as the voice of the parent in italics.

For younger readers who aren't as proficient, I would invite a guest reader, such as their classroom teacher, to read the poem with me in the same way, one as the voice of the girl and the other as the voice of the parent. Prior to that during the initial run-throughs with the whole class, I'd teach them to all say "jacket" when I point to that word, so they can participate in the reading of the poem as well.

Extension: Ask students to share with a buddy a time when they disagreed about something with their parents.

Poetry Book Review, #2

2007-01-29T18:32:00.000-08:00

Hopkins, Lee Bennett, ed. 1980. Morning noon and nighttime, too.

Illus. by Nancy Hannans. New York: Harper & Row.

I recently had the pleasure of reading this delightful, if older, anthology of poetry selected by Lee Bennett Hopkins. Although some of the poets who were included were familiar to me and others were not, I found the poetry to be of high quality throughout the anthology.

Almost all of these poems had appeared in other poetry books previously, but what makes this anthology so appealing is its theme and the way the poems are arranged throughout it to reinforce that theme. The theme is the same as the title of the book, Morning Noon and Nighttime, Too; it has poems first about morning and breakfast, then about school, playtime, dinner, and nighttime as it proceeds through a child’s day.

To show the variety of thoughts, emotions, and moods expressed in the poems, let us examine just pages three through eight, which deal with morning-time topics. The book begins with the poem, “Zebra,” by Judith Thurman, which is just a brief snapshot of what a child sees upon waking. Next appears, “Light,” by Felice Holman, an examination of the beam of light falling on a child’s hand, which is rather mellow and pensive.

The third poem is called “Morning,” by Myra Cohn Livingston, and recalls those moments in childhood when one is the only person in the house awake. This poem is bursting with energy, although it is only four lines long. “Making Beds,” by Steven Kroll, comes next. It is a rant about having to make beds with a very grouchy but good-natured mood.

Following this, “See, I Can Do It,” by Dorothy Aldis is included. It is a poem about brushing one’s teeth, with a lighthearted mood and a fun rhythm and rhyme. Finally, “Before Breakfast,” by Aileen Fisher, is a downright silly poem about what adults have to do to get ready in the morning versus what kids have to do.

The book is also filled with beautiful pen-and-ink drawings by Nancy Hannans that for the most part enhance the readers’ experience of the poetry and complement the way the poems appear on the page. If I could make any complaint, it would be that they sometimes leave little to the imagination. For example, the first poem, “Zebra,” by Judith Thurman is as follows:

white sun
black
fire escape,

morning
grazing like a zebra
outside my window.

The accompanying illustration includes a picture of a girl lying in bed, looking out the window through the bars of her fire escape so the reader doesn’t have to imagine how the view of the sun through the fire escape could be like a zebra. Some younger readers might even be thrown off or confused by the presence of a stuffed animal zebra at the girl’s side, wondering if the morning is supposed to be like a zebra or if she’s just talking about the zebra in her bed.

In other cases, though, the illustration is just right, like the one next to the excerpt from Karla Kuskin’s If I Were A… The excerpt reads as follows:

If I were a sandwich,
I’d sit on a plate
And think of my middle
Until someone ate
Me.
End of the sandwich.

The illustration for this poem shows a plate with a mostly-eaten sandwich and some crumbs. It is simple, but it supplements the poem without explaining it.

My other comment about the arrangement of the poems is that I appreciated the index of poems in the back that listed all the titles and poets in alphabetical order. I also think a table of contents would have been nice and would have highlighted the chronological layout of the poems, enhancing the book’s ability to express the theme of morning to night.

Overall, I think this book has many poems that children of all ages can relate to and enjoy. It certainly has some that I do, and I would not hesitate to share it with my students.